Redeeming Regret

Wes Terry

The Patriarchs • Sermon • Submitted 9 months ago • Presented 9 months ago

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Lead Pastor Wes Terry preaches a sermon on Jacob’s reunion with Esau and the way to be delivered from an unhealthy fear of man.

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Transcript

]INTRODUCTION:

Have you ever done something you really regretted?

There are words that I’ve spoken that I wish I could take back.

There are places I’ve gone that I wish I never would’ve went.

There are relationships I’ve started that I never should’ve started.

You know what’s true about everyone of those things? I can’t take them back. What’s done is done.

We all have regrets that we wish we could erase.

Our past regrets cannot be erased but they can be redeemed.

Set the Table

That’s exactly what is going on in the life of Jacob. Jacob had a brother named Esau and from the beginning they were at each other’s heels.

The name Jacob literally means “heel grabber.” He was always coming up with ways to trick his brother.

First by getting him to trade his birthright for a bowl of stew.

Secondly by tricking his dad to give him the blessing instead of Esau.

Esau wanted to kill Jacob because he taken through trickery not one but TWO of the things that rightly belonged to Esau.

It would’ve been one thing to disenfranchise him financially. But he also took the spiritual blessing as well.

It was this bad blood that forced Jacob out of his hometown to a new home 500+ miles north in Haran with his uncle Laban and his two daughters Rachel and Leah.

It was during those twenty years that the Lord begins to work on Jacob by showing him the reality of his presence and the seriousness of Jacob’s sins.

Laban was himself a trickster and a greedy dishonest trickster at that. He tricked Jacob into two years of hard labor (14 of which he had nothing to show for himself.)

We last left Jacob burring that grievance because he and Laban were finally able to come to a treaty so that Jacob could return home without the threat of Laban’s vengeance hanging over his head.

So when we get to our passage this morning Jacob is feeling pretty good about himself. He probably feels like God is on his side.

But, it’s often after a spiritual victory that we’re confronted with an additional challenge. It’s part of how God’s kingdom works.

We never arrive but go from one degree of glory to the next. Jacob has now become enough of a godly man to finally deal with some of these demons from his past.

Namely, the demon of tricking his family and stealing from his brother.

What’s so beautiful about God’s dealing with Jacob in this passage is that he begins to heal him of his greatest weakness.

It’s a weakness that plagues many of us in this room today.

God is going to deliver Jacob from a sinful fear of man.

PRINCIPLES OF PREPARATION

Let’s pick up our story in Genesis 32:1-2

Genesis 32:1–2 CSB

1 Jacob went on his way, and God’s angels met him. 2 When he saw them, Jacob said, “This is God’s camp.” So he called that place Mahanaim.

These first two verses are not just a way to mark Jacob’s journey geographically. It’s easy to miss in the English but the Hebrew word for “angels” is unique.

It’s only used ONE other time in the entire Hebrew Bible and it’s in Genesis 28:12 when Jacob had the vision of the stairway to heaven and he saw God’s angels ascending and descending the stairway.

It was in that chapter that Jacob named the place “Bethel” (House of God) and this time he names the place “Mahanaim” which means “two camps.”

The change in words is actually instructive because Jacob is beginning to sense that God doesn’t just reside in a permanent place like a house (the one he had set up at Bethel). But that God was rather traveling “with him” as a person.

God is in my camp.

This is exactly what the Lord promised Jacob he would do in Genesis 28:15. “I will be with you and keep you wherever you go and bring you back to this land.”

Jacob is beginning to understand that God is with him wherever he goes.

And that’s the first and most important truth to remember when confronting your past and allowing God to redeem your regrets.

REMEMBER: Never confront your past without God’s help.

Jacob is beginning this next season with an acute awareness of the presence of God.

We’ll never be delivered from an unhealthy fear of man unless we have a healthy vision of the greatness and nearness of God.

There’s a popular book by Ed Welch entitled “When people are big.”

When people are big then God is small but when GOD is big then people (and your people problems) are much smaller than they would otherwise seem.

The Lord has surrounded Jacob with supporting angels and he has surrounded us with similar agents of help.

Those who try and redeem with regrets without God’s help will often find themselves repeating the same things that got them into the mess in the first place.

Sending Messengers

Having met with God’s messengers Jacob is now going to send out messengers of his own.

Genesis 32:3–5 CSB

3 Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the territory of Edom. 4 He commanded them, “You are to say to my lord Esau, ‘This is what your servant Jacob says. I have been staying with Laban and have been delayed until now. 5 I have oxen, donkeys, flocks, and male and female slaves. I have sent this message to inform my lord, in order to seek your favor.’ ”

Notice the language Jacob uses here.

He puts himself in the role of servant and his brother in the role of Lord.

Some wrongly assume Jacob is putting Esau above God here but that’s not the way the word Lord is being used here (notice lack of caps).

It’s rather a term of respect and a posture of humility and submission by Jacob towards his brother Esau.

What’s so striking about this language is that it’s the opposite of what Isaac had prophesied when Jacob received the blessing that was intended for Esau.

In that blessing Isaac said, Genesis 27:29 “29 May peoples serve you and nations bow in worship to you. Be master over your relatives; may your mother’s sons bow in worship to you. Those who curse you will be cursed, and those who bless you will be blessed.”

When Esau protected Isaac warned him, Genesis 27:40 “40 You will live by your sword, and you will serve your brother. But when you rebel, you will break his yoke from your neck.”

That’s part of what made Esau so angry. I’m not going to serve this cheat and deceiver!

By using this language Jacob is acknowledging his wrong and stating his intentions.

Humility + Honesty

He’s confronting his past with a spirit of humility.

But Jacob doesn’t just send these messengers with a spirit of humility. He also adds in a statement about why he had been gone so long and what had taken place in the meantime.

“It’ve been staying with Laban and have been delayed…. and I have lots of animals and wealth.”

Why is Jacob saying this? If you didn’t know the background you might think Jacob is showing off.

But that’s not what’s happening. Jacob knows that part of the reason Esau was angry is because Jacob tricked Esau in stealing his birthright.

That birthright would’ve given Jacob access to all of Isaac’s wealth. It’s another reason that Esau was so angry.

So in telling Esau, “I’ve been gone because I’ve been delayed by Laban and I’ve got lots of animals” he’s essentially saying, “I’m not here to kill you and I’m not here to make some claim on my inheritance.”

He actually closes the message with complete honesty about his intentions. “I’ve sent this message to seek your favor.”

I’m not here to take from you. I’m here to be reconciled to my brother and find favor in your eyes.

Which leads to the next two things to remember when confronting your past.

REMEMBER: Never try and confront your past without a spirit of humility and honesty about your intentions.

The people who were harmed by your past regrets will usually have a long memory and lasting grievance for how and why they’ve been wronged.

That’s why one of the 12 steps in a Recovery System is to go back to all of the people you’ve wronged in the past and clean up your side of the street.

If you’re going to go stomping back into the past and interact with some of the people you wounded you don’t want to do so without humility of heart and honesty about your intentions.

Otherwise, you might meet some resistance!

A Scary Report

Jacob sends the messengers with information about his return and gets a reply that he probably didn’t want.

In fact, we’re not even given any information about the conversation between the messengers and Esau. We only hear the outcome of the discussion.

Genesis 32:6 CSB

6 When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, “We went to your brother Esau; he is coming to meet you—and he has four hundred men with him.”

He’s coming to meet you. (good) With four hundred men. (not good!)

Four hundred men! That’s an army! (it’s actually bigger than the army Abraham had to overtake the five kings from the East)

This is NOT the news Jacob wanted to hear. I’m sure he was hoping for something more intimate and personal but this feels more like a war party going to neutralize a threat.

Genesis 32:7–8 CSB

7 Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed; he divided the people with him into two camps, along with the flocks, herds, and camels. 8 He thought, “If Esau comes to one camp and attacks it, the remaining one can escape.”

Jacob goes from confident in God to anxious and afraid. Why? Because things didn’t go the way that he planned.

It’s what most of us do when things don’t go our way. Especially when we feel like we’ve done everything right and we’re doing what God told us to do.

Protecting People

The language about spitting his people up into “two camps” is a throw back to verse one wherein Jacob named the place “two camps” because God’s angels were among his people.

Now he’s gone from trusting in God’s protection to devising a plan to soften the potential blow.

Some people assume this act is a cowardly one by Jacob. But it’s not as though he puts one in front as a human shield. He’s just splitting the odds.

If Esau attacks us the at least 50% of my future can survive and rebuild. He doesn’t know which half it might be.

It does bring up a principle about how to confront your past.

Remember: Never confront your past without protecting the people who matter.

In a sense, we can see Jacob is a changed man because the old Jacob would’ve heard this news and run in the opposite direction.

That’s what he’s done every other time he perceives a threat to his welfare.

He ran away from his brother.

He ran away from his uncle.

But this time he’s standing strong because he knows that the LORD is with him and he’s been instructed to return back home.

So he devises a plan to protect the people that he loves.

When you’re confronting your past you’ll likely be doing so as a totally different person than you were back then.

Because you’re a totally different person you’ll have a totally different life that could be potentially harmed by the blowback that addressing your past will bring.

PRINCIPLES FOR PRAYER:

Having done everything that he knows to do, Jacob then begins to pray to God for help.

Which is not uncommon, is it. Prayer becomes our last resort instead of our first and greatest resource.

REMEMBER: Never confront your past without a posture of prayer.

Jacob’s prayer is a wonderful illustration for how to work with God in redeeming your regrets.

Breakthrough Prayer

It’s one thing to remember you can’t address your past without God’s help.

But how to pray in a way that motivates God to do what only he can do. That’s what Jacob’s prayer teaches us today.

Genesis 32:9–12 CSB

9 Then Jacob said, “God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, the Lord who said to me, ‘Go back to your land and to your family, and I will cause you to prosper,’ 10 I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. Indeed, I crossed over the Jordan with my staff, and now I have become two camps. 11 Please rescue me from my brother Esau, for I am afraid of him; otherwise, he may come and attack me, the mothers, and their children. 12 You have said, ‘I will cause you to prosper, and I will make your offspring like the sand of the sea, too numerous to be counted.’ ”

Let me show you a few things about this prayer that should be helpful for you when praying to God in dealing with your past.

Adoration

First, we should pray in such a way that we’re reminded of who God is.

I use a little acrostic at times that helps me pray: ACTS.

The “A” stands for Adoration.

The idea is that you find some truth about the Lord that reminds you of why he is worthy of praise.

Jacob reminds himself of certain key truths about God’s nature.

He’s not only the God of my father Abraham and my father Isaac. He’s also the LORD who SPOKE TO ME.

Jacob is praising the Lord by rehearsing his initial promises to Jacob and instruction to come back home.

LORD you are a God who speaks. You are a God who promises! You are a God who protects! You are a God who prospers!

Find some truth about the Lord, a truth related to the problem that you are confronted with and PRAISE the Lord. Adoration.

Confession

After Jacob’s prayer of adoration he moves to a prayer of confession and repentance.

That’s what the C stands for. Confession.

Genesis 32:10 “10 I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant...”

When Jacob initially started this journey he was barely aware of his own brokenness and sinfulness before the Lord.

But through the years and experiences of God’s mercy and judgment he had come face to face with the depravity of his heart.

It’s good for us to no only remind ourselves of who GOD is but to also remind ourselves of who WE are in relation to God.

We are not worthy.

It’s like the parable Jesus told about the tax collector and the Pharisee. One beating his chest in prayer for why he’s so much better than other people. That’s no way to pray to a holy and righteous God. Rather may we say with Jacob and the tax collector, “I am unworthy of all of the kindness and faithfulness that you have shown your servant.”

Thanksgiving

That spirit of repentance and confession will naturally lead to this third letter on our acrostic: T.

T stands for Thanksgiving.

This is exactly where Jacob goes after confessing his sin.

Genesis 32:10 “10 I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. Indeed, I crossed over the Jordan with my staff, and now I have become two camps.”

God I’m so grateful because I first crossed this river with my staff and now I’m crossing with incredible wealth and prosperity.

You’ve made good on your promises to me!

I thank you Lord! It’s important if you’re going to confront your past to remember God’s faithfulness in your past so you can move forward in hope for the future.

It’s also important to rehearse God’s past faithfulness before you remind him of your current circumstances.

God was faithful to give him the love of his life, protection from Laban, prosperity and wealth and now a return home to Canaan.

Supplication

Remember who God is.

Remember who you are.

Give thanks for what God has done.

Then comes the S of our acrostic: Supplication.

The only reason I don’t love this acrostic and teach it all the time is because the Word “supplication” never gets used anymore.

It basically just means tell God what you need. Which is exactly where Jacob goes next.

Genesis 32:11 “11 Please rescue me from my brother Esau, for I am afraid of him; otherwise, he may come and attack me, the mothers, and their children.”

I love Jacob’s honesty here. When you’re praying to God there’s not reason to put on a front or pretend.

Jacob lays it out, “I’m afraid of my brother!” He’s big. He’s scary. He’s hairy. And the last time I saw him he wanted to kill me. Now he has four hundred men with him and I think that’s probably on his mind.

The Lord cannot heal you if your not honest about your problem!

I also think it’s important to note that Jacob’s prayer is not only for his own safety but also the safety of those God had given him: the mothers and their children.

The Bible does say that many of us don’t have because we don’t ask. So it may be all you need to do as ASK and God will give.

But right after that is says those who do ask often ask with the WRONG MOTIVES.

God doesn’t answer prayers that are prayed for selfish reasons or to satisfy some dishonorable lust in your heart.

Expectation

The final thing Jacob does in this prayer - a letter that’s not traditionally included in the acrostic is E.

E stands for Expectation.

Jacob closes his prayer by reminding God of what he previously said as if to say, “I expect you’re going to do this because you’ve already promised you would and you’re a God who keeps his promises!”

ACTSE: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication and Expectation.

I think it’s important to point out that some take biblical teaching like this and teach a “name it claim it” approach to prayer.

That’s never the way the Bible describes this kind of faith-filled expectations.

It’s not the quality or sincerity of our faith that causes God to answer the prayer. It’s the object on which the faith is rested. And the object of Jacob’s faith is the Word of the Lord.

If the Lord has spoken it then the Lord will do it!

That’s why we can pray with eager anticipation that the LORD will keep his promise.

If you’re working with God to redeem things from your past then I would search the Scriptures for biblical promises that pertain to the situation you’re addressing.

Similar Dynamic

As I was meditating on Jacob’s preparation to meet with his brother and Jacob’s prayer to God for help I began to notice some striking similarities between both.

First he has this personal encounter with God and reminds himself of who God is.

Then he sends a message to his brother expressing his humility and regret for the past.

He adds to that message a honest expression of God’s past faithfulness and his true intentions.

He makes a direct appeal for reconciliation and help.

Then responds with a rehearsal of what might come in the future.

If I could summarize it into five R’s there was a

A reminder of God’s person.

A repenting of past problems.

A rejoicing in personal prosperity/divine provision

A request for personal favor/divine protection.

A rehearsal of future potential/divine promise.

PRINCIPLES FOR PAYMENT

Now that he has prepared to confront his past and has prayed for God’s help in the mater, the only thing left to do is walk through the process.

We see Jacob’s approach in the remainder of today’s passage. He essentially gives up everything that he has as gift to Esau to make atonement for what he has done.

Genesis 32:13–21 CSB

13 He spent the night there and took part of what he had brought with him as a gift for his brother Esau: 14 two hundred female goats, twenty male goats, two hundred ewes, twenty rams, 15 thirty milk camels with their young, forty cows, ten bulls, twenty female donkeys, and ten male donkeys. 16 He entrusted them to his slaves as separate herds and said to them, “Go on ahead of me, and leave some distance between the herds.” 17 And he told the first one, “When my brother Esau meets you and asks, ‘Who do you belong to? Where are you going? And whose animals are these ahead of you?’ 18 then tell him, ‘They belong to your servant Jacob. They are a gift sent to my lord Esau. And look, he is behind us.’ ” 19 He also told the second one, the third, and everyone who was walking behind the animals, “Say the same thing to Esau when you find him. 20 You are also to say, ‘Look, your servant Jacob is right behind us.’ ” For he thought, “I want to appease Esau with the gift that is going ahead of me. After that, I can face him, and perhaps he will forgive me.” 21 So the gift was sent on ahead of him while he remained in the camp that night.

200 female goats/ewes.

20 male goats/rams

30 milk camels

40 cows

10 bulls

20 female donkeys

10 male donkeys

All of these animals are split up along with Jacob’s servants and sent on ahead of him.

The idea is that Jacob is going to to soften Esau’s rage by making atonement for the sins of his past.

He says so explicitly in verse 20. “I want to appease Esau with the gift that is going ahead of me. After that, I can face him, and perhaps he will forgive me.”

Jacob knows what every person discovers in confronting your past regrets.

Choices have consequences. Grudges have debts and those debts must be paid.

In confront your past not only should you

come personally prepared

and properly prayed

You should also come ready to pay what you can pay for the things that you have done.

Remember: you can’t confront the past without paying what you owe.

In a way, Jacob is foreshadowing a form of atonement towards his brother Esau. He’s rightly angered by what Jacob has done and payment must be made for what was taken from him.

How Forgiveness Work

This approach by Jacob is also a beautiful example of how forgiveness works.

The best analogy on forgiveness I’ve ever heard comes from Tim Keller.

He says forgiveness is like paying off a debt.

A debt is owed that must be paid.

Forgiveness is you paying the debt yourself.

Vengeance is exacting what is owed from the debtor.

Atonement is where the debtor repays the debt.

With any form of reconciliation it takes one person to say “I’m sorry.” One person to say, “I forgive.” But it takes two people to say, “Let’s move on.”

Jacob is essentially demonstrating that he desires relationship with his brother more than a hold on his possession.

So he sends one envoy in front of the other in front of the other in front of the other.

The only thing he doesn’t send ahead is his two wives, two concubines and eleven sons.

He’s saying to his brother, “Everything that I have to give is yours to take.” Total surrender.

I think it’s also interesting that he does so in stages.

Forgiveness is one of those deals where you can pay everything you have to pay on the debt but the debt still be outstanding. So you wait until you have more to pay and then keep paying on the debt until it’s done.

So is the case with Esau getting softer and softer and softer with each installment of the next envoy.

We’re not going to see Esau’s reaction until next week but I want to close with this final word.

CONCLUSION

There are some payments you’ll be able to make and should make in confronting your past.

But there are some things from your past for which no atonement can be made.

There are some grievances that cannot find forgiveness because the victim is not there to give it.

There are some sins that are so great no financial gift will offset the wrong.

Not to mention that the most offended party in any past regret isn’t the person you wronged but the image in whom they’ve been made.

God is always the most offended party of any wrong doing and there’s no way to make atonement towards him.

Our greatest debts we cannot pay.

But even though God is holy and justified in enacting vengeance, he has demonstrated an even greater love and forgiveness in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Jesus has done for us what we could never do for ourselves. He has made redemption possible not by what we can pay but by what he has paid for us.

Our greatest debts we cannot pay which is why Jesus paid it all.

In Jesus all of our greatest regrets can find redemption and meaning because Jesus has paid it all.

We can give and forgive only because of the greater gift and forgiveness of the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you’ve never received him as savior then you’re not ready to confront your past.

If you’ve never submitted to him as Lord then you’re still dead in your sins.

But if you’ll repent and believe you can have God forever with you.

Both as you redeem your past regrets and build a new hope for the future.

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