Epic Sibling Rivalry
Epic - The Story of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob • Sermon • Submitted • Presented • 24:00
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Last session we studied about Isaac, Abraham's son. We looked at his successes and failures. We saw that he started out his relationship with Rebekah full of faith. He learned some lessons from his father about the faithfulness of God. He and Rebekah, trusting God though Rebekah was barren, worshipped God as they prayed for a baby.
God hears their prayer and Rebekah gets pregnant. And though we looked at this a little last session, this is where we will start as we get into the story of Isaac and Rebekah's sons, Esau and Jacob.
Genesis 25:22-23 And the children struggled together within her; and she said, If it be so, why am I thus? And she went to enquire of the LORD. 23 And the LORD said unto her,
Two nations are in thy womb,
And two manner of people shall be
separated from thy bowels;
and the one people shall be stronger
than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.
We discussed last week that Isaac was a prayerful man, and it seems that Rebekah was too. It seems that the pregnancy was difficult because the two boys she carried struggled within her.
We have been studying about Jonah on Wednesday nights, and through our reading plan we have been able to see the importance of going to God first when problems arise. This is exactly what Rebekah did. When she wondered why her pregnancy was rough, she ask God, and God told her.
"There are two nations in your womb, and two very different people." He didn't stop there, however. God gave her a prophecy about what was to become of them: "The elder shall serve the younger."
This was not a thing that was normal. There was something in that culture that was very traditional, as far as how things were handed down from father to son.
Tradition dictated that the oldest son receive the "birthright." This was something that was very important and very valuable. The birthright was something that naturally belonged to the firstborn son. This is why Sarah protests against Hagar and Ishmael when she says, "Cast this servant out, for her son will not be heir with my son." She knew that traditionally, Ishmael would have been the one who had the birthright.
So what was the birthright? I am glad you asked! The birthright is the right of the firstborn to become the patriarch of the family when the father died. He would have been in charge of the family property and possessions and would be responsible for taking care of the younger sons, any widows in the family, and the unmarried daughters. He would possess an incredible amount of authority within the family because of his status as the head of the family.
But there was also something else that went hand-in-hand with the birthright in the case of Hebrew families. The firstborn son also received a special blessing. This was intended to place him in a close and favorable relation with God. It was an encouragement to that son to follow the Lord and thus lead the family in following God.
Now, these gifts and favors could be diverted from the firstborn, but it was not a very common thing to do. It was the case for Isaac, as he received the blessing of the firstborn even though Ishmael was the firstborn of Abraham.
So we read in these verses that the two boys in Rebekah's womb will inherit this as well, the older will be servant to the younger brother.
Genesis 25:24-27 And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb. 25 And the first came out red, all over like an hairy garment; and they called his name Esau. 26 And after that came his brother out, and his hand took hold on Esau's heel; and his name was called Jacob: and Isaac was threescore years old when she bare them. 27 And the boys grew: and Esau was a cunning hunter, a man of the field; and Jacob was a plain man, dwelling in tents.
Un-Identical Twins
So Esau and Jacob are born. As we see already, they are two very different people in appearance and in preferences. Esau is a hairy kid and grows up to be absolutely covered in thick hair. In fact, his name, Esau, means hairy. He also has a nickname which is Edom, meaning red. We'll see later in the passage how he gets that nickname, but it is important to know that it is from this nickname that Esau's descendants get their name as they become known as the Edomites.
Jacob, on the other hand, was noticeably not hairy, as we will see later in their story. However, Esau, who is born first, arrives into the world with his brother's hand grasping his heel. So Esau's brother is given the name Jacob, which comes from a Hebrew word meaning may God protect.
However, the name Jacob in Hebrew also sounds like the Hebrew word for heel (as in the heel of the foot), and it sounds like another word, the word which means to overtake from behind. And therefore the name "Jacob" became a nickname meaning "he grasps the heel" or "he deceives."
How would you like your name to be synonymous with lies and deceit?
So, they came out not only looking different, but also, they became two very different men.
As we read, Esau was a hunter, enjoying he outdoors, and Jacob was a home body, preferring to stay close to home.
We mentioned before that there was a lot of faith going on in Isaac's home. But as the children grow, we see that problems have developed. Some things, we don't know exactly what or the what the cause was, but there were definitely some issues that were left unchecked and unresolved between Isaac and Rebekah.
Like I said, we don't know what happened, but see if you can spot the result as we continue to read.
Genesis 25:28 And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob.
What word or words come to mind when you read this verse? Division. Favoritism.
The word that comes to my mind is division. Just like there was favoritism on Sarah's part toward Isaac, that home became divided, now we see division among Isaac's family because each parent has their favorite child. Isaac favors Esau because Esau brings home that venison, and Rebekah favors Jacob.
This division among parents has drastic consequences in the lives of the children. Isaac's favoritism is based on what Esau provides for him, and when there is a favorite in the family, both jealousy and strife will be present too.
Genesis 25:29-34 And Jacob sod pottage: and Esau came from the field, and he was faint: 30 And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint: therefore was his name called Edom. 31 And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright. 32 And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me? 33 And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob. 34 Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised his birthright.
So we fast forward in time to see Jacob and Esau as young men and we get to the part where Esau gets his nickname. Jacob is cooking up some kind of red soup or red stew, and Esau comes in from his hunt, tired and hungry. He sees that Jacob already has some food cooking, so he asks for some. So far, nothing in this story seems out of the ordinary. We may even expect that Jacob may ask for something in return: perhaps some of the choice cuts of meat from Esau's recent kill, or maybe even money.
But verse 31 reveals to us a sibling rivalry and jealousy on the part of Jacob. Jacob responds by saying, "I'll give you food if you give me your birthright." This seems off, and we fully expect Esau to scoff at the idea. The birthright is a big deal and not something to exchange lightly.
I remember as a five year old, sitting in Sunday school while listening to this story thinking, "Yeah right, Esau's not dumb enough to take that deal."
I am the youngest of three siblings. My sister is about 2.5 years older than I, and my brother is 5 years older. There was a lot of sibling rivalry between us. He got to do so many things that I did not get to do. At 12, he was riding around Monterrey with his friends on city busses. I was 15 or sixteen the first time I was allowed to get on a bus and go somewhere with my friends. (Of course, looking back now, I was not as mature as my brother was at 12.) I was always trying to be better and stronger than he was; a difficult feat when you are 5 years behind the curve...
But that wasn't because our parents had favorites. This was just simple sibling rivalry, what makes the rivalry between Jacob and Esau so Epic is the scheming involved.
The thing about it is, the birthright already belonged to Jacob. God had already settled that before their birth when He told Rebekah that the older brother would serve the younger. Isaac was aware of this as well, but here Jacob is, living in the identity of a younger brother who has no birthright, scheming and strategizing a way to get a birthright that already belongs to him.
And here we begin to see how the division between Isaac and Rebekah affects their children. Isaac and Rebekah had put their own personal desires above the welfare of the family, and as each favored a different child that benefitted them more individually. As we continue through the life of this family, we will see that Rebekah was a very hands-on mother who knew what was going on in the home and could contrive ways to get what she wanted and what she thought was best.
Isaac, on the other hand, seems to be a quiet man. He enjoyed the benefits of his son, the hunter, but ignored the fact that Esau was a man caught up in the influence of the world and his own desires (something we will see toward the end of this chapter).
And when parents and children put their own personal desires ahead of God's will, homes quickly become divided.
Back to Esau and Jacob. Isaac, it seems had not taken the time to transfer his father's faith to Jacob and Esau. As mentioned before, Jacob was the son that would receive the blessing and the benefits of the firstborn even though he was the younger brother. However, Jacob did not have the faith that this would happen on its own.
I read about a man who had something in his office that reminded him that "Faith is living without scheming." Jacob could have used this reminder, but as we saw in the previous verses, Jacob was scheming on how to make the birthright his own. He had probably come up with a million plans on how to trick his brother into relinquishing the birthright, and this may have been something that he had rehearsed in his mind up to that point.
Perhaps it Jacob even viewed it as a noble act, as he saw that Esau had little to no interest in spiritual things. Likely also is the case that Rebekah and Jacob had had these discussions as well. But the thing is, God had already decided who would receive the birthright. This doesn't absolve Jacob, Esau, Rebekah, or even Isaac of their actions or their responsibilities to the Lord.
So Jacob tricks his brother into selling him the birthright for a pot of red soup, therefore earning Esau the nickname Edom, or Red. It is after these events that we saw the famine come into Canaan for a second time and Isaac, learning from his father's mistakes, obeys God and does not leave Canaan, but goes to the land of the Philistines. And through his actions and sin in the city of Gerar, Isaac comes into conflict with the Philistines. Eventually, we saw that peace is made between Abimelech (king of the Philistines) and Isaac.
Though there is peace with his neighbors, inside Isaac's home there was a war brewing. Genesis 26:34-35 34 And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite: 35 Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.
This is where we see that Esau is more interested in his desires and is influenced by the world around him. He takes two wives from the nation of the Hittites. Remember how important it was to Abraham that Isaac not marry anybody from Canaan? How he made his servant swear an oath to go to his home town and bring back someone that was from Abraham's own family? Isaac is never seen making this kind of commitment for his children. He has not taught them the ways of the Lord like Abraham had taught him. And now because of that, Isaac, who is about 100 years old, is grieved because Esau, his favorite son, has gone and married two women from Canaan that don't believe in God. A couple of chapters later, Esau goes and marries another heathen woman just to spite his father.
It is a wonder that despite the fact that Esau lived such a worldly life that Isaac would be bent on giving him the birthright. But that is exactly Isaac's plan.
Genesis 27:1-4 And it came to pass, that when Isaac was old, and his eyes were dim, so that he could not see, he called Esau his eldest son, and said unto him, My son: and he said unto him, Behold, here am I. 2 And he said, Behold now, I am old, I know not the day of my death: 3 Now therefore take, I pray thee, thy weapons, thy quiver and thy bow, and go out to the field, and take me some venison; 4 And make me savoury meat, such as I love, and bring it to me, that I may eat; that my soul may bless thee before I die.
He tells Esau, go kill a deer and make me that venison that I like so much so I can give you the blessing before I die.
Isaac had a good beginning, but as Warren Wiersbe said in his notes over this chapter, "A good beginning does not guarantee a good ending." Isaac, old and close to death is approaching the end with a clear determination to disobey God's command. He has made plans to bless Esau with the birthright blessing instead of giving that to Jacob.
Isaac is blind and it seems that he is bedridden as well. This would cause him, as we will see later, to rely upon the senses of hearing and touch to know to whom he is talking. This is an outward demonstration of how he makes his decision, apparently, as he relies on his feelings more than on God's guidance.
Rebekah is not much better.
Genesis 27:5- 10 And Rebekah heard when Isaac spake to Esau his son. And Esau went to the field to hunt for venison, and to bring it.
6 And Rebekah spake unto Jacob her son, saying, Behold, I heard thy father speak unto Esau thy brother, saying, 7 Bring me venison, and make me savoury meat, that I may eat, and bless thee before the LORD before my death. 8 Now therefore, my son, obey my voice according to that which I command thee. 9 Go now to the flock, and fetch me from thence two good kids of the goats; and I will make them savoury meat for thy father, such as he loveth: 10 And thou shalt bring it to thy father, that he may eat, and that he may bless thee before his death.
Rebekah, who had once trusted God when her pregnancy was rough, now depends on wit and deception to overcome a problem.
Instead of calling out to God or even going in and talking to her husband and living in the faith of what God has already spoken as true, she connives and works to deceive Isaac for the benefit of her favorite son, Jacob.
Jacob tells her, "But Esau is hairy, and I am far from it. Dad may want to grab ahold of me and if he does, he'll know right away that I am Jacob." So Rebekah dresses Jacob in Esau's clothes (as they would have a distinct smell of the outdoors on them) and covers Jacobs arms with the skins of goats to make Jacob feel more hairy. Esau must have been like the wolf-man or something!
So Jacob goes in to his fathers and this is what happens.
Genesis 27:18-27 Basically, Isaac is deceived by Jacob and all he has done to feel and smell like Esau. Isaac proceeds to bless Jacob in the manner of the firstborn, and Jacob heads out.
Genesis 27:30-32 And it came to pass, as soon as Isaac had made an end of blessing Jacob, and Jacob was yet scarce gone out from the presence of Isaac his father, that Esau his brother came in from his hunting. 31 And he also had made savoury meat, and brought it unto his father, and said unto his father, Let my father arise, and eat of his son's venison, that thy soul may bless me. 32 And Isaac his father said unto him, Who art thou? And he said, I am thy son, thy firstborn Esau.
And Isaac basically goes, "Oops... I thought I already blessed you..."
Genesis 27:34-41 And when Esau heard the words of his father, he cried with a great and exceeding bitter cry, and said unto his father, Bless me, even me also, O my father. 35 And he said, Thy brother came with subtilty, and hath taken away thy blessing. 36 And he said, Is not he rightly named Jacob? for he hath supplanted me these two times: he took away my birthright; and, behold, now he hath taken away my blessing. And he said, Hast thou not reserved a blessing for me? 37 And Isaac answered and said unto Esau, Behold, I have made him thy lord, and all his brethren have I given to him for servants; and with corn and wine have I sustained him: and what shall I do now unto thee, my son? 38 And Esau said unto his father, Hast thou but one blessing, my father? bless me, even me also, O my father. And Esau lifted up his voice, and wept. 39 And Isaac his father answered and said unto him,
Behold, thy dwelling shall be the fatness of the earth,
and of the dew of heaven from above;
40 And by thy sword shalt thou live,
and shalt serve thy brother;
and it shall come to pass when thou shalt have the dominion,
that thou shalt break his yoke from off thy neck.
41 And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart, The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob.
We end today on a very sad note. Abraham Lincoln famously said, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." And we will see the truth of that. This rivalry goes beyond what is commonly seen as typical and now turns murderous.
A broken home. Fault lying squarely on all four members, the home of Isaac is beyond divided, it is a home at war.
Invitation: Our homes are precious. Listen, the family that God has given you is a gift. Each member of our family is a gift of God and should be treated as such and prayed for as such.
When was the last time that you made sure you told your family members individually that you loved them? When was the last time that you showed affection for your kids, your parents, your spouse?
Husbands and wives, are you on the same page, spiritually speaking? Do you pray for each other? Do you have a plan on how your family will serve the Lord together? Or are you each looking out for what is best for number one?
Parents: are you loving your children the same? It is easy to pick out the child that is most like you as your favorite, but so many time the easy thing is not the right thing. The way to combat favoritism is to show true, sacrificial love to each child. Do your kids know that their are no favorites? When you play the favorite game, the only thing that will result is a divided home.
Do you play your kids against your spouse? "I know mommy said this, but she's crazy, we're going to do this." Or, "I know Dad says that he doesn't want you going here, or dressing like this, but as long as he doesn't find out it is ok."
Listen, if those kind of conversations are happening at all in the house, you are shooting your whole family in the foot and that wound is going to go septic quick, fast, and in a hurry.
Kids: Do you play your parents against each other to get what you want? The end to that is not what you think it will be.
Are you hateful or even just apathetic to your brothers and sisters? The end to that is not what you think it will be. It's lonely and miserable. You'll see it as we continue to study about Esau and Jacob.
Listen to me, the family is no place for selfishness. For a family to thrive and succeed, their must be a common focus, and that focus must be Christ.
If your here and you are newly married or just had a kid and the family dynamic has just started, a good beginning does not guarantee a good ending. Dedicate your family to the Lord this morning. Set your self up for a good ending.
If you have messed things up in your family, a bad beginning does not mean a bad ending. Start things over today. Bring your family, or come on your own and pray for your family. This is the time to do it. Get things right with God, get selfishness out of your life, and commit to focusing on God personally and to leading your family members to focus on Him together.
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LIFE GROUP [Teens]
What observations can you make between Esau's and Jacob's relationship?
Esau was a man who was not concerned with spiritual things. He did what he wanted without regard to what God wanted of him. Even though Esau was able to get away with this since he lived in a home that was essentially divided, did this give him an excuse to act this way? No. Even though his circumstances were less than ideal, Esau was still responsible to God for his actions and attitudes.
Why was Esau wrong in how he treated his birthright (by selling it for a bowl of soup)? The Bible says that Esau despised his birthright (25:34). He had no regard for the fact that as the older brother he had a special position in the household.
He could have dressed the kill and made his own food, but out of la
ziness he sold his birthright for a bowl of soup.
Why was Jacob wrong for convincing his brother to sell his birthright? You would expect that Jacob would love his brother enough to give him some food. But Jacob demonstrated how conceited he was by trying to get as much as he could from his brother and in return, offering something of very little value.
There was definitely favoritism going on in Jacob and Esau's home. Did this give them any right or excuse to treat each other with so much selfishness? No. We are responsible to the Lord no matter what our circumstances are. We are to fully focus on God and follow Him.
Jacob was actively encouraged by his mother to deceive Isaac. Does this justify Jacob deceiving his father? Does it make the situation "ok"? No. Jacob, though encouraged by an authority figure to do what was wrong, still could have and should have made the decision to do what was right.
Knowing that his father was about to disobey a command from God by giving the birthright blessing to Esau, what acceptable options were there available to Jacob?
- Talk to his father; respectfully remind him of what God had said.
- Pray and ask God to change his father's heart and mind on this subject.
- Wait and see what God would do to intervene, and trust that even if God did not, that God would take care of the outcome of the situation
What were the results of all the selfishness that was going on in Isaac's home?
Can you identify ways that you have been selfish in regards to your family over the past few weeks?
What could your continued selfishness lead to in your family?
What are ways that you can help bring peace and unity in your home this week?
Write down two things you can do and commit to following through with them.
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LIFE GROUPS [Adults]
Anything that stood out to anyone about the situation in Isaac's home?
Let's talk about favoritism. It seems logical that having a "favorite" child would then put you in their good graces. It would make them more likely to bend to your will and instructions. How did this backfire for Isaac and his favor toward Esau? Esau was favored because of what he could give Isaac (venison). Isaac favored Esau out of selfish motivation. The end result was that Esau ended up living for himself, completely disregarding his parents when he married his first two wives and then marrying his third wife knowing full well it would grieve his father (Genesis 28:8-9).
Isaac and Rebekah seemed to work against each other. In their disunity, Rebekah brought Jacob in to manipulate things. She convinced Jacob and enabled him to deceive Isaac.
It could be argued that her intentions were noble. She had been the one that God directly told about Jacob receiving the birthright instead of Esau. However, doing things the wrong way for "the right reasons" is still wrong.
How should Rebekah have approached the situation upon hearing that Isaac was planning on giving Esau the blessing of the birthright?
- She should have talked with Isaac.
- She should have prayed and asked God to change Isaac's heart and mind.
- She should have trusted that God was going to accomplish His promise somehow, even if it didn't make sense to her.
Husbands: If you were in Isaac's place and Rebekah came to talk to you about this issue, pointing out that you were disobeying the Lord, how would you respond?
Too many times we like to place a certain amount of blame on Rebekah, and I don't want to detract from that. What she did was wrong. But how often are we as husbands unwilling to hear from our wives whenever we are wrong?
How willing are we to not get defensive when our spouse shows us some sin or duplicity that we are involved in?
How were Jacob and Esau affected by their parents' disunity?
Compare what we know about Abraham's parenting style to what we know of Isaac's parenting style? Abraham made sure that his whole household knew about God and followed Him. He lived his faith out and taught his children to be faithful and live righteously. Abraham did not play the favorite with Isaac, even though he was special, being the son of the covenant. Abraham made sure to take care of Ishmael and his 6 other sons (born to Keturah, his wife after Sarah died), and even sons born to concubines of his (Genesis 25:1-6). Though Isaac was to inherit the land and the things, Abraham still provided well for his other sons before his death.
Isaac, on the other hand, played the favorite with Esau. He loved him more than Jacob. Isaac was willing to disobey God to give what should have been Jacob's to Esau.
Isaac is never mentioned about teaching his household about God, but even if he had, Isaac did not live out his faith in obedience in front of his children.
How did Abraham live out his faith in a way that directly impacted Isaac? He put Isaac on an altar to sacrifice him in obedience to the Lord.
What example of faith do we have of Isaac after the kids were born that involved them directly? There are none. In fact, in direct disobedience to the Lord, Isaac tried to perform his will for his favorite son.
Could Isaac's lack of living by faith have impacted Esau's life choices? Absolutely!
How? Esau disregarded spiritual things probably because he had seen his father disregard them so much. Esau saw Isaac live selfishly, and so Esau lived to please himself. When it came time to marry, even though it went against his father's wishes, he married women that were ungodly because that is what pleased him.
Why shouldn't he? Even Isaac disregarded God's authority when it went against Isaac's desires.
Jacob was favored by his mother. We know that Jacob is sneaky and deceptive, but after reading about Rebekah's interaction with Jacob as she convinced him to deceive his father, it is not a stretch to think that Jacob learned deception and trickery from his mother.
In the end, Jacob was responsible for his own actions in deceiving his father, but Rebekah was a stumbling block for him. She is responsible for how she influenced her son to do something that was wrong. The ends do not justify the means.
In the end, it may seem that God orchestrated all of this as Jacob did receive his birthright and the blessing. Does this seem true to you?
The reason we make a big deal about this is because even though of all the parties involved, none of them had faith in the Lord to do what was right.
- Isaac was willing to give the birthright to Esau even when God declared it to be Jacob's.
- Rebekah urged Jacob and helped him to deceive Isaac.
- Jacob refused to trust God in this situation and to do things honestly.
- Esau was willing to receive something that did not belong to him and that he had already voluntarily given up to Jacob.
Even though Jacob received the blessing and the birthright, was he able to enjoy it? No. As we will study next week, he had to run in fear for his life because Esau wanted to kill him. Jacob had to leave home. This would be the last time that he saw his mother. After he left, Esau would have become the beneficiary of the birthright authority and privileges.
In what ways can parents fall into a trap of showing favoritism toward one of their children?
How can this be dangerous to the family structure?
Instead of talking through issues, some parents weaponize their children against the other parent. How is this dangerous to the relation between parents?
How is this dangerous in the relations of parents and children?
Parents are meant to be the disciplers of their children. We are to make disciples of Christ out of our kids. If we use them for our benefit and to fight our battles with our spouse, then we have created a warzone in the home.
What were the results of all the selfishness going on in Isaac's home?
Can you identify ways that you have been selfish in regards to your family over the past few weeks?
What could your continued selfishness lead to in your family?
What are ways that you can help bring peace and unity in your home this week?
Write down two things you can do and commit to following through with them.
