New Fam, who dis?
Notes
Transcript
Matthew 12:46-50
Jesus disavows his mother and brothers and claims his disciples as family. This was radically counter-cultural then and now. The ultimate good is not being a great father/mother/daughter/son… it is following in the footsteps of Jesus. Getting that backwards hurts everybody.
Family Comes First
Family Comes First
Drew sick, KK hanging out at the hospital. Of course, that’s just what you do.
Dylan, home sick Thursday, 104 fever. Checking on the boy, taking care of the boy. Of course, that’s just what you do!
You sacrifice, you give, you put the kids first.
That’s what it means to be a parent.
The other day we watched an Eddie Murphy classic “Daddy Day Care.”
One of a whole family of movies built on the CRAZY premise that a Dad can take care of children too! Mr. Mom, 3 Men and a Baby, etc...
He starts the day care out of desperation, but he starts to love it… then gets called back to his real job… and there he has this epiphany: what is most important? What is your core value?
My son! My son! My family! That’s my core value!
It is the climax of the movie, the grand realization.
And so he leaves his high paying expensive job, and restarts Daddy Day Care.
Family First
Family First
Because it’s all about family. Family comes first.
How many Christmas movies did we watch over break where it’s all about the family.
This is an absolute Truism. So much so that it gets uncomfortable building up to it… because you start thinking maybe I’m going to say “Family isn’t important...” and that feels absolutely wrong!
Who is my Family?
Who is my Family?
46 While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him.
48 But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”
49 And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers!
50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
How dramatic was Jesus when he asked “who is my mother?”
Did he pause? Did he let them wonder if he’d lost his marbles?
And then the declaration… you are my Mom! You are my brothers!
Jesus has brothers???
Jesus has brothers???
This is slightly controversial.
There is a doctrine in the Lutheran, Anglican, Orthodox and Catholic churches called the “Perpetual Virginity of Mary” that maintains Mary stayed a virgin.
The doctrine arises a couple hundred years after, seems to be built on the idea that Mary was SO pure and holy that she couldn’t possibly do something as icky as sex and childbirth.
But… I don’t see it. There’s an awful lot of verses that really seem to indicate brothers (plural) and sisters (plural)… and I love the idea of Jesus growing up as a big brother. And that at least James, but I expect more, came to faith and understood that Big Bro Jesus was Big Brother to us all.
And if they aren’t really his brothers, this whole dramatic analogy falls flat.
But it’s okay, one day we’ll just find out! I have cousins that are more like brothers and sisters, so maybe.
Jesus dramatically, explicitly, declares his disciples, his little nascent seed of a church, Family… over and above his actual family.
Isn’t that what it sounds like Jesus is doing? Forget those clowns, you are my new family, my better family… and it reads as if he never goes out to speak with his Mom and brothers.
New Family?
New Family?
But he is essentially saying: they aren’t my family, you are my family!
Isn’t that kind of harsh?
This is where we get language like “church family”, by the way. It’s coopted so much by other organizations. Businesses that say “we’re more like a family...” Sure, until they fire you. It’s maybe not so true there...
But Jesus adopted this language for his followers, for his people. An adopted family, a chosen family, committed together, stuck together just like a real family. Where loving one another is NOT optional. Home is where they have to let you in the door. Welcome to church, family. Welcome to church family!
It’s why I like the phrase “Family Meeting” for our quarterly meetings instead of “Business Meeting.” We may conduct business, as in “get stuff done...” but we aren’t a business. We are people called together, bound together, by blood, by relationship, by life together, a bit now, and ultimately forever.
Family. Family because Jesus calls us family.
Note, this is not just the local church, I think, but the Global Church. Family across all believers, all of Jesus’ disciples. We are brothers and sisters in Christ.
This really runs counter to the whole Family First narrative. Blood first, everything else second.
And Jesus is consistent on this, countering this own narrative in his culture… which was probably a good deal stronger than our own:
37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
Which helps us understand some of the strongest language Jesus uses for this. Luke records it this way:
25 Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them,
26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.
The difference between our love for family and our love for Jesus, the difference in commitment, is SO strong, it is as if we hate our family.
I should have saved this one for like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
“Jesus says love everyone.” “But hate your Mom, hate your Dad!”
It’s provocative language, absolutely. He is a master teacher, getting his students to think in new directions.
And it takes language that strong, even for us today, because this “Family First” line goes deep.
It’s hard.
Which is why, I am sure, in both Matthew and Luke, Jesus finishes with:
27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.
It is a cross to bear.
But our God is a jealous God. He is.
This isn’t about the way that I wish God was. Or the God I would create if I could. This is God, YHWH, and actual person, a being who is as He is. Not as I make or imagine Him to be… He is how He is.
And He tells us a true thing about Himself. He is a jealous God.
There is a throne in your heart, in your life… and He made that Throne for Himself. And He gets ticked when anyone else sits in it.
Even if the person sitting on it, at the center of your life, is your wonderful Mother.
Or your super cute kiddo.
Our God is a jealous God and will not suffer idols.
Now, I am convinced that is actually a good thing for us. My mother is amazing and wonderful… but a TERRIBLE god. My kids are so cool, and smart, and talented… but TERRIBLE gods.
If I let them be idols, gods in my life, my first-and-foremost… it is going to twist me. You get people doing awful, evil things, in the name of family. Their family, above all, everyone else can hang. TERRIBLE gods.
That twists me… because I was made for God. Made with a God-shaped hole in my heart only God can fill. Trying to fill that with family is bad for me...
And it is bad for them. Logan, be the god of my life. What ridiculous pressure! What a burden to carry! We see this pressure in marriages, in parent-kid relationships up through adulthood down to the smallest. If your self-identity and wellness is totally dependent on them… that’s not remotely good for them, and they can’t possibly live up to that. Because they are meant too, no human is. God alone is worthy, and trustworthy, and He alone is that faithful and good.
So we don’t put family first. We put God first, Him alone on the throne. We seek first His Kingdom… and then we are ready to love. To love so much better than if we had made them an idol and gotten that backwards.
We see God teaching His people this lesson.
Abraham sacrificing Isaac.
Why did God do that? Amongst all the reasons: Abraham shows God that he puts God first. Abraham gets to show himself that. He gets to show Isaac that. Isaac is 13, you think he remembers the time Dad brought him to a sacrifice for the rest of his life? Put him on an altar, took the knife in hand, and then made a last-minute switcharoo?
That sends a statement about the importance of YHWH that will last generations! Millennia, even.
Every one of the disciples, leaving work, leaving whatever family they had to follow Jesus. We know Peter was married for sure, because he had a Mother-in-Law, but it’s quite possible the other disciples were married as well.
There is a place in our world where we make this order of priority clear.
If you’ve ever flown a plane:
In the event of an emergency, please secure your own breathing strap before helping a child with you.
Why? Why do they do this?
The child will be okay for the few seconds it takes for you to secure your own… which will likely be a way shorter process than getting it on a potentially screaming and freaking out kid. IF you take too long putting their on, and you pass out from the air pressure dropping, you are no help to anyone and the kid is in trouble anyhow.
If the kid passes out for a second, that’s okay, you are in the perfect position to help, with the breath you need to continue.
The most loving thing you can do is breathe first.
In the same way, the absolute most loving thing you can do for those around you is to put His Kingdom first. Seek first the Kingdom… and all the other stuff, details, necessities… they will be added to you.
This is our Spiritual Discipline of Simplicity, right here. Simplicity is defined as to “will one thing.”
That is Jesus and His Kingdom.
And that is what Jesus did. His Father, by His Spirit, His Kingdom first. And so the disciples are His first family, because that’s what was added to him next, what he was called to next.
Was Jesus a good son?
Even from the cross, he is looking out for Mom:
26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!”
27 Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.
Jesus loved his Mom. Loved his brothers. Loved them more than we love our Mom or our brothers, wife, kids, etc… Loved them enough to seek first His Kingdom… that they might be added to it.
The most loving thing we can do for our families is seek first His Kingdom.
Family Idolatry
Family Idolatry
These are just a few verses tucked in here and there… but they stand out to me. Because this is a challenge for me.
When we talk about possible idols, money doesn’t tempt me, Baal doesn’t tempt me...
But I am hard-wired to love my kids, to love my family, and my instinct is to put them first. My parents both modeled tremendous love for the family… sacrifice for the family… that’s just what you do.
But they also modeled putting the LORD first in all things.
And that is the most loving thing we can do for our children.
For our spouses.
For our parents.
For our siblings.
That is going to be real in time...
Next week, as we take Communion:
In the event of a remembrance of the Lord’s death… please secure your own Body and Blood before assisting any children with you.
For this will prepare you to help them more, better, to love them more, better, to serve and sacrifice and all those good things.
Seek first the Kingdom of God.
The most loving thing you can do for your Family is to seek first His Kingdom.
To dig in to the Word of God. To worship regularly and freely. To submit yourself to Jesus. To be disciplined in prayer, in devotion, in study.
This is heroic parenting, heroic husbanding, wifing, sibling-ing.
Seek first the Kingdom of God… and let God fill you with His love, patience, goodness, kindness, out of the richness of the fruit of His Holy Spirit you love boldly and sacrificially.
This is the foundation of all the words on “Love Others” in the Bible. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, Wives, love your husbands, submitting to them as they do to you, Love others as you have been loved… Second to the Greatest Commandment.
Love the Lord with ALL your heart, all your mind, all your strength.
Family, let us love our Lord and worship Him forever.
