Saturate: Church as Family (Matthew 12:46-50)

Chad Richard Bresson

The Table of Los Fresnos

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Aaron Rodgers’ estrangement

I read the story this week of Aaron Rodgers, quarterback for the New York Jets...previously the Green Bay Packers. His life has been the stuff of TMZ and a lot of his life has played out in the tabloids. The story I was reading chronicled Rodgers estrangement from his family. The story is heartbreaking and I feel for him. According to the story, and both sides, some of the estrangement stems from Rodgers views about church and Christianity. As Rodgers’ fame grew, it became evident that he did not share their values. The story’s summary is that Rodgers doesn’t know how to fix it, wishes it were fixed, and is resolved that they have simply chosen different paths in life.

We’re spending some time at the beginning of 2025 thinking about what it means for The Table to be a church. Last we talked about how the church is built on and has been created by the confession of Peter.. The Gospel in Word and Sacrament. Church is where you’ll find people gathered to hear the Word and receive the Sacraments. That is church in its most basic form. But there is more to the church, or more to what we can say about the church from Matthew’s biography of Jesus.

Jesus shocks

Our text today adds another dimension to the church from Matthew’s biography of Jesus. And it may be the most difficult to accept. This challenges us in fundamental ways. What Jesus says about the church he is building is quite shocking. So shocking, that a lot of pastors and theologians trip over themselves trying to soften what Jesus is saying here. I read one well known guy this week who, knowing that you really can’t soften what Jesus is saying here, made the comment that Jesus’s comment in this text is rather unfortunate. As if Jesus crossed the line here. But what Jesus says here is not unfortunate. It is what we need to hear, in fact, what we need period. And what the world needs from us as we saturate Los Fresnos with Jesus in every area of our lives.

We started off this study of the church and its mission seeing Jesus’ compassion for the crowds in the book of Matthew. Sheep without a shepherd. And the crowds are where kingdom is happening. Jesus is building his church… he is creating community from those crowds who have been oppressed. But his message is not popular with everybody. We get to Matthew 12, and we see increasing conflict with the religious establishment:

Matthew 12:14 “The Pharisees went out and plotted against Jesus, how they might kill him.”

The very ones who have been oppressing the people with a religion of self-salvation are not interested in a gospel of forgiveness and grace. They want to kill Jesus. Jesus is beginning to feel the heat and the opposition.

Jesus and His family..outside

But there’s another part to Jesus’ difficulties. We get to our passage and we’re told this:

Matthew 12:46 “While he was still speaking with the crowds, his mother and brothers were standing outside wanting to speak to him.”

What’s interesting about this statement is that this is one of the first times in his ministry that we find Jesus family interacting with him. After the events of his birth, his family fades into the background. At about 30 years of age, Jesus begins his ministry and now they show up. Twice, Matthew tells us they are “standing outside”. Jesus is teaching and preaching inside of a house or synagogue, but his family is not in the immediate proximity with Jesus. Jesus is with the crowds, and they are outside.

There is no mistaking what Matthew wants us to see here. Jesus’ family, for whatever reason, is outside of his inner circle. In fact, they don’t have access. Someone tells Jesus that his mother and brothers were waiting outside. And while we’re used to the cozy pictures of Mary and her son Jesus, that image is nowhere to be found here. Like the brothers, Mother Mary herself is on the outside looking in.

One aside here… before we go any further, it’s passages like this that are an immediate tripping point for many. Brothers. That sounds exactly what it sounds like… Jesus had siblings. I know there is a church body that for centuries has insisted that Jesus did not have siblings… that this passage is talking about cousins, but the word for cousins is no used here. Yes, Jesus had siblings. The idea of Mary’s perpetual virginity is nowhere supported in the Bible. But… that’s just a side note.

The real shock here is that the family is outside. We don’t know why there is a strain or even break in the relationship, but Matthew’s portrayal of this family is one of a lack of closeness and intimacy. Apparent dysfunction. The writer of Hebrews tells us that Jesus suffered like we do. And here it very much looks like Jesus has experienced the pain of broken relationship with his family. You think Jesus had the perfect family? Think again. Pause with Matthew right here and see Jesus mom and brothers on the outside as if they are the strangers in the story. Even the crowd is closer to Jesus than they are.

Jesus’ Question

The rest of the conversation here confirms what the scene looks like. Jesus is told that his mother and brothers are outside wanting to have a chat with him. Matthew does not tell us the nature of their request, but in the context of the religious leaders also speaking with Jesus just a few verses earlier, whatever it is is most like more conflict. Jesus’ response is shocking. First he poses a question:

Matthew 12:48 He replied to the one who was speaking to him, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?”

Jesus doesn’t even reply to his family. He replies to the messenger, who by now is thinking, “don’t shoot the messenger.” Jesus responds with a question. Who is my mother and who are my brothers? You can almost here a pin drop. This question would have been awkward, not just for the guy announcing the family’s arrival, but even for the crowd that is closer to Jesus than his family. The question isn’t relieving tension… it’s elevating the tension. All eyes are on Jesus, most probably stunned.

Jesus is doing what most in the room probably would not… he’s not immediately affirming or confirming his family. In fact, he’s calling into question their place in his life as a family. If this is anyone else, you’d think the question was someone who was being a wise guy… a smart aleck. But this is Jesus. No one is laughing.

Jesus’ Answer

And no one is answering the question. Jesus answers his own question.

Matthew 12:49 “Stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers!”

We’re not told that Jesus’ family was within earshot. We can only assume they heard this or were immediately told. If you weren’t shocked at the question, you are certainly shocked at the answer. Jesus has a family, and it’s not them, at least in the immediate sense. Jesus nowhere disowns his mother and brothers. But what he does do, is he is rewriting the definition of “family”. Jesus has found a family that is closer, more intimate.

Jesus’ Explanation

And he then explains how this is his new family:

Matthew 12:50 “For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven. That’s my family… that’s my brother and sister and mother. This is a family that is not of this world. This is a heavenly family who has made Jesus the center of everything, just as His Father did at His baptism when he said “this is my beloved Son.” Jesus has many brothers and sisters… his family extends beyond the wall of the house. Anywhere where there are those who receive him in faith, following him, doing what he says.

And you have to go back to what Jesus is doing in Matthew chapter 9. Remember? Jesus is preaching and teaching throughout the towns and villages that God’s kingdom is near because Jesus has come near. He’s preaching the Good News of life and forgiveness, and this is what he says about the crowds:

Matthew 9:36 “When Jesus saw the crowds, he felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dejected, like sheep without a shepherd.”

He has compassion on the crowds… they are distressed and dejected. They have no shepherd. He is gathering these people as a harvest… gathering them into a community. Gathering them into a church. Gathering them into a family. Through this harvest, Jesus is creating a new family, not based on biology, but based on Him and his salvation. This is who he spends his time with, this is who he shares his thoughts with and his emotions. This gathering that day is Jesus’ safe place. This is His priority. Kingdom priority takes precedent over His family.

There’s a verse in Proverbs that says “there’s a friend that sticks closer than a brother” and we hear that and we think, yeah, a friend can be that… there are friends with whom we have a stronger bond than our family. But here… Jesus is saying, “no, that’s not just a proverb”. That’s a reality. The new family, the kingdom family, has bonds that are stronger than family. Stronger than mother, stronger than a brother.

In that Jewish culture, that’s abrasive. Family was more important than anything else. Here in Matthew, Jesus is kingdom-building… building a church… creating a new family that transcends the earthly family. In Matthew 18, Jesus says He can be found wherever two or three are gathered in his name. And one of the primary characteristics of this new family is forgiveness. A place where forgiveness leads. That’s a family where love is always on.

Jesus creates a new family

We don’t know what was going on between Jesus and his family, but what we do know is that when Jesus begins gathering crowds to himself and people respond to His Good News in faith, that He is creating His own new family. A family for him to love. A family for His to die for. A family that responds to Him in faith.

The writer of the book of Hebrews picks up on this new family in Matthew 12 and gives the churches he’s writing to hope…we read it earlier:

Hebrews 2:10–11 “For in bringing many sons and daughters to glory, it was entirely appropriate that God—for whom and through whom all things exist—should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect through sufferings. For the one who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one Father. That is why Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters,”

Those verses are stunning. We could sit here and reflect on the implications of this for hours. In our salvation, Jesus has made us sons and daughters of God. We’re family because of the cross. And in doing so, Jesus claims us as his brothers and sisters. Are you kidding me? Jesus the big brother, has made us part of his family and now you and I are family together with Jesus.

That’s hope. Too often we come to this scene in Matthew where Jesus is talking about the importance of the heavenly family and all we walk away with is another law we impose on people… “you know the church is more important than your family.” When it is said like that, it becomes abusive. Cults have used this passage to drive wedges between families, conveniently ignoring other places where Jesus is uplifting the family.

Jesus is placing a priority on the heavenly family here, but he’s not shutting out his family. In fact, we know from church history, these same brothers later are in Jesus’ inner circle. One of them becomes a leader in the church in Jerusalem and writes the book of James. Jude also a brother writes the book of Jude that we find near the end of our New Testaments.

If you go back to the scene, at that moment in time, Jesus is creating a new family based on faith and repentance. This is home for Jesus at a time when his family is struggling to make sense of who he is. This is Jesus’ safe place. This is where Jesus can be vulnerable. And he is creating a safe place for the crowds who are oppressed and rejected. A place they can call home… this place is called the church.

There are some of you here that feel disconnected from family. There are some watching that feel totally alone. You’re not. Many of us here have experienced dysfunction in our families. Come to this scene in Matthew. Listen to Jesus. Hear what he’s saying. See his new thing he’s building. The church was created to be a family, a family characterized by love and forgiveness. And I get it. Church hasn’t been that for you. Even this church may not be that for you. But it’s not supposed to be that way.

This church as a family is not of this world. Jesus created this family and its eternal. The church is a place where love and forgiveness rule. And the family here becomes the model for our biological families. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard the opposite… that God patterns his family after the biological family and that what we have here is just a metaphor to help us think about church. That’s not what Jesus says. Jesus says “Whoever is following me in faith IS my brother and sister and mother.” It’s the reverse… the family we have here becomes the pattern for life in the home, where love and forgiveness are to be the main characteristics.

Love and forgiveness seem to go missing from our own families. The reasons for estrangement in our families are not reasons for estrangement here in the church. In fact, the church should be a family for those who have experiences estrangement in their families. How often does estrangement in the home bleed over into the church and vise versa? Have we stopped to think that our spouses, our children, are brothers and sisters in Christ, first? If we treated and talked to our children and our spouses and our other family members as brothers and sisters in Christ, would that make a difference in the home life?

This family becomes the family for the world. We are to saturate Los Fresnos where we live, work, learn, and play. This means the family that Jesus is building in his church becomes family for the world. The church takes family to others and invites them to join us as brothers and sisters in faith. We live in a world where family has been shattered. We have a family that broken families need. Our family has a big brother that alienated brothers and sisters need. Jesus is using us to build his church as he uses us to expand His family.

Let’s Pray.

The Table

Word and Sacraments create family. Every week here at the table, Jesus is creating his family of brothers and sisters. We share this meal as a family… where our Big brother, Jesus reminds us again how much he loves us… forgives us, gives us life and salvation. For His family.

Benediction

Numbers 6:24–26

May the Lord bless you and protect you;

may the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you;

may the Lord look with favor on you and give you peace.

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