A Friend Worth Following
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
Last week, we finished a major section in the Sermon on the Mount. As we finished Matthew 6, we saw the priority that the Kingdom of God is supposed to have in us. We are to seek it desperately. “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness,” the verse says, “and all these things that pertain to life, all these things that the heathen worry about and get anxious over, all these things will be added unto you.” We learned that seeking God’s kingdom is of the utmost importance, but it can only be done in righteousness.
Seeking the Kingdom of God requires us to hunger and thirst after righteousness. This can only truly be stated of those that are disciples of Jesus Christ, who have placed their faith in Him for salvation and who follow Him, not through their own strength, but through the strength that the Holy Spirit gives them. So you cannot seek after the Kingdom of God without hungering and thirsting after righteousness, and on the other hand, to do righteousness, or to do righteous deeds, without the Kingdom of God in mind is to do the right thing for the wrong reasons - and doing the right thing the wrong way or the right thing for the wrong reasons is wrong. This was the failure of many of the Scribes and Pharisees.
Today, and for the following three weeks, I want us to depart from the Sermon on the Mount and head into a different topic of discussion. This series, though not part of the Sermon on the Mount, which is, as we have stated many times, an in-depth course on basic Christianity, this series that we start today will cover an issue that will be a determining factor in our ability to live out the lifestyle and philosophies of the Sermon on the Mount.
The series I would like to introduce today is titled
On Friendship
On Friendship
We have discussed this on several occasions here, whether on Wednesday night studies or Sunday morning services, that Christians are not meant to walk alone. We are meant to live in community. When you live in community with other Christians you help and minister to one another, encourage each other, and join together to live out and share the gospel. And there are two primary mentalities that go into this.
The first one is the 9-5 mentality. Those that have this mentality see their Christian life not as a lifestyle, but as a job. They clock in for a time, then clock out. Those Christians that hold to this point of view will be as varied as the people you find on the job site. There will be lazy workers that do just enough to get by, there will be others who complain constantly about the job, there will be some that love there job, and there will be others that are defined by their accomplishments in the community of the church. But in the end, they all clock out and go home. Some of these Christians, will make friends in the church, and while they are in the church and at church activities, they will surround themselves by these people, but once it is time to clock out and go home, those people aren’t seen or thought of until the next gathering. Others, just like some people on a job site, gather only because it is “necessary,” but they aren’t here to make friends, they are here to fulfill their “list of responsibilities” and leave as soon as they can. This sums up the 9-5 mentality church member.
The second mentality of members of a church that understand that we live in community is the lifestyle mentality. They understand that the community of the church is not something you clock in and out of, it is a lifestyle. And since that is a lifestyle, then they realize that they must pursue deep friendships with those in that community. As they pursue friendship, they also learn that loving others is something that is totally different that what the world calls love, and that in this community, even though there are personalities that might not click with their own, they can still love and be friendly, and be connected to each other.
Let me put it this way. A few short years ago, back in 2005, I found myself considering enlisting in the Army. I talked to people that were friends and family members that had been in the military, and one of the best pieces of advice that I received was a challenge to shift my perspective about the military.
This change in perspective before I ever enlisted was a great help, and I saw many young recruits struggle with adapting to this needed change. The thing that I was told was this: “If you are going to join the military, understand that being a soldier is not a job, it is a lifestyle.”
Jobs you clock in and out of. You have certain hours and certain expectations during those hours, but once you clock out for the day, typically, that’s it. You don’t have to worry about that job until you clock back in the next day.
Lifestyles on the other hand are all consuming. Being an active duty soldier or other member of the military is not something that you can clock out of. It is a lifestyle. The military dictates everything about you. Everything falls under that lifestyle. Even when you are on leave or on vacation you do not clock out. The lifestyle of a soldier demands that the military know your whereabouts at all times and have multiple ways to contact you. You have to give detailed reports of where you are going on vacation, the route you will be driving to get there, the places you will be staying. There are certain expectations about your behavior that are in place even when you are hundreds of miles away from any military post. This is a prime example of a lifestyle.
And living in a community with the mindset of that community being part of your lifestyle instead of just a job means you relate to the people in that community differently.
I will give you a perfect example of this. When I went to basic training, I was one of only a couple of outspoken Christians in my training troop. There were a few other recruits who were very outspoken against Christianity. One was atheist, the other agnostic. We did not get along very well. One of them, a man by the name of Kirk, repeatedly threatened to take my Bible, rip it up, and burn it. We did not get along very well...
When we were done with basic and advanced training, we all received our orders to go to different units stationed around the world. I ended up being stationed in Germany. Before I went, however, I took leave and stayed in Texas for a couple of weeks. When I arrived in Germany and in-processed into my unity there, guess who was also there? Yup! Kirk!
Over the next few months, Kirk and I were settling into this mentality that the Army was lifestyle and not a job. Meaning, Kirk and I were going to be seeing a lot of each other and would be working a lot with each other. Though we never saw eye to eye on anything other than military duties, responsibilities, and expectations, we were able to get along and be friendly toward each other.
When Tahsha and I got married and were waiting on the military to get us housing, Kirk and his wife allowed us to live at their apartment for a few weeks while we waited. Why? Because Kirk understood that though we may not see eye to eye on most things in life, I was his brother in arms and he was mine. Had this situation happened in any other environment, I do not believe Kirk would have extended the friendship and invited us to stay at his house.
Though Kirk and I learned to get along with each other and tolerate each other and even work well together, we never became super close friends. As time went by, I was separated from my unit and sent to Fort Irwin, CA. Kirk stayed in Germany, and we did not keep in touch.
Fast forward about 16 years, and I was sitting on my couch watching a movie that I thought was fictional. It’s called The Outpost. It is about an army unit that was stationed in a valley in Afghanistan and was run over by insurgents. Most everyone looses their life. There was a character named Kirk who, oddly enough, kind of looked like the Kirk I had gone to basic training with and was stationed in Germany with for a while.
In the movie, the character named Kirk dies, bravely defending that outpost. Turns out, that movie is not fictional, and that Kirk was my Kirk. He did indeed die in the defense of COP Keating in Kamdesh, Afghanistan.
Kirk made it known to me and others around me again and again, even after we were no longer living with him and his wife, that he had a very special hatred toward me, but when the credits started rolling, and I saw Kirk’s actual picture and the description of how he died roll up on the screen, I wept. Because Kirk had been a brother. I was sad that I had not been at his side during that time. I was sad because I had gone 11 years thinking that Kirk still was alive. I was sad that I had not been able to reach out to his family in their time of need.
What makes two people that have a certain dislike for each other willing to put their lives in each others hands? Because I will tell you this - though Kirk and I did not agree on most things, if it had come down to it, I would have trusted him with my life, and he would have trusted me with his. Why? Because that is the lifestyle that we were both a part of. We had an odd and imperfect friendship that transcended our differences and our preferences.
This is something that is seen commonly in the military. And if people that are unsaved can enter into this kind of imperfect friendship based on community and learn to live well with each other, how much more should Christians, who have, above all, Jesus in common, be able to do so in a much deeper fashion?
Two days ago was Valentine’s Day. In Mexico and much of Latin America, Valentine’s Day is not exclusively for those in love with each other. Although the proper translation for Valentine’s Day in Spanish is Día de San Valentín, it is more commonly referred to as Día del Amor y Amistad - Love and Friendship Day. It is used as a day to celebrate not only romantic love, but also deep friendships.
Today and for the next three weeks our focus will be On Friendship. Biblical friendship. I want to walk us through different characteristics that the Bible teaches us that we should look for in friends and that we should have as friends of others.
Our theme verse for this series is found in Proverbs 18:24
24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
This series will not focus on determining whether or not the friends that you and I have are good or bad friends, though you could use this as a type of gauge for that. Rather, this series will focus on helping us determine whether we are good friends ourselves.
Notice that the emphasis of our verse is that the person who has friends must show himself friendly. So over the next few weeks, I want us to learn what the Bible says about being a good friend.
This mornings message is titled
A Friend Worth Following
A Friend Worth Following
As we progress through this series, we will be studying different friendships in the Bible. The first friendship that I want to focus on is the friendship between Elijah and Elisha. For those of you familiar with Elijah, you’ll remember that he was a prophet of Israel. He is one of the most highly regarded prophets of Israel. His ministry was marked by miracles and the proclamation of the one true God to the nation of Israel that had for a long time forsaken God and begun to worship false gods.
The peak event in Elijah’s ministry is when he gathers 800 false prophets before the nation of Israel and issues a challenge - we will build altars and put a sacrifice on the altars. Then, you will call to your god, and I will pray to my God. Whichever god sends fire from heaven that consumes the sacrifice, that is the God we will worship as a nation and acknowledge as the one, true God.
The false prophets of Baal accept the challenge and for hours, they call upon Baal to send fire, but nothing happens. Elijah then says, “My turn!” He builds up an altar, puts the sacrifice upon it, and digs a trench around it. he commands barrels of water to be brought and for them to be dumped onto the sacrifice. So much water is dumped on the sacrifice that the wood is soaked, the stones are drenched, and the trench fills with water. Then Elijah says one simple prayer, “LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that You are God in Israel and I am Your servant, and that I have done all these things at Your word. Hear me, O LORD, hear me, that this people may know that You are the LORD God, and that You have turned their hearts back to You again.”
And God sends fire from heaven. It is so hot that not only does it consume the sacrifice and the wood, but it burns the stones and instantly evaporates the water in the trench leaving no doubt to the people of Israel who is the real God.
The Israelites gather the 800 false prophets and bring them to Elijah, and Elijah executes every single one of them.
Elijah’s ministry continues after that, and shortly after, God leads Elijah to a man whom he will mentor. This man’s name is Elisha, and Elish not only becomes Elijah’s trainee, he becomes his close friend. They minister together for a long time, getting to know each other more and more deeply until it is time for Elijah to be taken from this earth.
We find the end of Elijah’s life and the deepest expressions of friendship in 2 Kings chapter 2. Read along with me from verses 1-14.
1 And it came to pass, when the Lord would take up Elijah into heaven by a whirlwind, that Elijah went with Elisha from Gilgal.
2 And Elijah said unto Elisha, Tarry here, I pray thee; for the Lord hath sent me to Beth-el. And Elisha said unto him, As the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee. So they went down to Beth-el.
3 And the sons of the prophets that were at Beth-el came forth to Elisha, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Lord will take away thy master from thy head to day? And he said, Yea, I know it; hold ye your peace.
4 And Elijah said unto him, Elisha, tarry here, I pray thee; for the Lord hath sent me to Jericho. And he said, As the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee. So they came to Jericho.
5 And the sons of the prophets that were at Jericho came to Elisha, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Lord will take away thy master from thy head to day? And he answered, Yea, I know it; hold ye your peace.
6 And Elijah said unto him, Tarry, I pray thee, here; for the Lord hath sent me to Jordan. And he said, As the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee. And they two went on.
7 And fifty men of the sons of the prophets went, and stood to view afar off: and they two stood by Jordan.
8 And Elijah took his mantle, and wrapped it together, and smote the waters, and they were divided hither and thither, so that they two went over on dry ground.
9 And it came to pass, when they were gone over, that Elijah said unto Elisha, Ask what I shall do for thee, before I be taken away from thee. And Elisha said, I pray thee, let a double portion of thy spirit be upon me.
10 And he said, Thou hast asked a hard thing: nevertheless, if thou see me when I am taken from thee, it shall be so unto thee; but if not, it shall not be so.
11 And it came to pass, as they still went on, and talked, that, behold, there appeared a chariot of fire, and horses of fire, and parted them both asunder; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven.
12 And Elisha saw it, and he cried, My father, my father, the chariot of Israel, and the horsemen thereof. And he saw him no more: and he took hold of his own clothes, and rent them in two pieces.
13 He took up also the mantle of Elijah that fell from him, and went back, and stood by the bank of Jordan;
14 And he took the mantle of Elijah that fell from him, and smote the waters, and said, Where is the Lord God of Elijah? and when he also had smitten the waters, they parted hither and thither: and Elisha went over.
Elijah had been a great prophet of God in Israel. He was by no means perfect, but he did do a lot for the Lord. Elisha had been Elijah’s apprentice, and God had pointed out that Elisha would be a prophet who would do mighty things in Israel as well.
So Elijah takes Elisha and begins to teach and train him. This is what we would call discipleship. Elisha got to see how Elijah lived and trusted in God daily, and during their time together, a deep bond of friendship was established.
I want you to notice that in this last interaction that Elisha and Elijah had together, Elijah asked Elisha three times to stay back and not continue with him. We do not know the exact reason, but I would imagine that it was due to Elijah’s consideration for his friend Elisha. He didn’t want Elisha to see his end.
And yet, Elisha refused to stay back. Elisha, being the friend that he was, refused to let Elijah be alone in the end. There is no doubt that Elisha was a great friend to his mentor, but today’s focus is not going to be on Elisha’s friendship to Elijah, but Elijah’s friendship to Elisha.
The question we seek to answer today is this - Are you a friend worth following?
I. A Friend Worth Following Is Wise
I. A Friend Worth Following Is Wise
There are wise people and there are know-it-alls. Which one are you? There will always be those that are wise, and by the same token, there will always be those that are foolish. Which kind of friend are you?
Are you the kind of person that others point to and say to others, “He or she is a good example of how to live wisely?” Or are you the person that is used as the bad example?
I have said this many times because I believe that it is true - You will always be an example to someone. You might be an example of how live, or you may end up being the example of how not to live. It all kind of depends on you. Be a friend, be a parent, be a person that is worth following.
20 He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: But a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
We are probably all familiar with the old saying, “You are who you hang out with.” If you study the story of Elisha’s ministry after Elijah was taken up into heaven, you see that of Elisha, there are double the miracles recorded than of his mentor, Elijah. The reason that Elisha stuck around Elijah was that Elijah was a person worth following. He was a friend that was worth being around. And because Elijah was a wise friend worth being around, Elisha reaped the benefits of his companionship.
I hope you understand that these teachings go beyond friendships. Parents, we need to be moms and dads that are worth following. We need to make sure that we are being wise in the way we follow Jesus. It is not enough to read the Bible, but it is necessary to study the Bible. It isn’t just enough to accumulate Biblical knowledge; we must be wise and put that knowledge to good use. Our kids and teens need to see that it is worth following dad and mom because they are following Jesus.
Listen, there are no teens out there with aspirations of being the dumbest person in the world. Teens want to be smart, they want to be wise, and often, they think they are smart and wise without realizing that they are not. But kids want to be wise. They will seek the council of those whom they think are wise. If my kids see me acting the fool every weekend, they are not going to come to me when they have issues and questions. They will seek out those that are wise, even if they are only wise in worldly wisdom.
Elijah was wise, and that is why Elisha knew that no matter what was going to happen, it was a wise thing to follow Elija.
7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: But fools despise wisdom and instruction.
How do we know that Elijah was wise? Because he feared God. Whatever God told Elijah to do, Elijah did it, even when it didn’t seem to make much sense.
II. A Friend Worth Following Follows God Passionately
II. A Friend Worth Following Follows God Passionately
Last week we saw how we are to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first. The word “seek,” if you will remember, does not mean to limply look for. It means to crave and deeply desire something. A friend that is worth following is a friend that is passionate about following God in his life.
We do not have time to do so during the service, but I highly recommend that you read 1 Kings chapter 18.
This is where you find the story of Elijah passionately challenging the 850 false prophets. The Lord showed how He alone was the true God, and Elijah put those prophets to death b y the sword. This was at great risk to himself. Many of the false prophets there were the personal prophets of King Ahab and his wife Jezebel.
When God told Elijah to flee to different areas, he did so without question. He was seeking to be righteous and obedient before the Lord, even when it put his own life at risk.
There is no other way to describe the way that Elijah followed the Lord but with the word “passionately.”
I want you to think of famous world leaders. Whether these leaders were good or bad, the one thing that they probably all have in common is that they were passionate. The majority, if not all, dictators of the world have been passionate about their ideologies. Very skewed ideologies, yes, but they were passionate about them. And people followed them! Why, well, partially, because that kind of charisma and passion is both attractive and contagious.
If I want to be a friend that others believe that I am worth following, I need to be passionate about seeking God. If I want to influence others around me, if I want to influence my own family for the Lord, then I need to be passionate about seeking God for myself. Do you want your kids and teens to be passionate about the church, then you as a parent be passionate about the church.
Listen, parents, wherever your passions lie, that is where you will lead your family.
“But Mike, you don’t understand, the problem is that my kids just don’t want to come to church. They have no desire to to participate or serve in ministries.”
No, the problem is that on Saturday night, there are parents complaining in front of kids that they have to get up early to go to church on Sundays. The problem is that you wake up on Sundays and express the idea of how great it would be not to have to go to church in the morning.
The problem is that when kids do want to participate in a ministry, parents will say things like, “Ugh, but then you have to be there early, and that means I have to get there early. What a hassle!” But we sure do get passionate about their basketball games, hockey games, soccer games, and every other sport they want to try out. We make sacrifices to keep them active in those things, even sacrificing church. And listen, this is coming from someone who spent nearly 16 years in youth ministry, parents wonder why, after kids graduate and leave home, their kids no longer go to church. They seem more interested in every other aspect of life except for their walk with God.
The problem is, too many parents are passionate about ever other aspect of life except their own walk with God and that of their family’s.
If you are passionate about sports, your kids will likely be passionate about sports. If you are passionate about work, your kids will likely be passionate about work. If you are passionate about following Jesus, your kids will likely catch that passion too.
Do you want your coworkers to follow you to church sometime? Be passionate about God at work! We were at a church one time where someone moved to that town and started coming to our church. Within weeks, the family placed their membership in our church, and when we asked them what prompted them to do so, they answered and said that one of their friends who went to our church always talked about our church whenever they were on the phone. They were excited about the church, they were excited about how God was using them in the church, and this family wanted to be a part of the church that their friends were so passionate about.
We get passionate about everything else - sports, work, TV shows, politics - but Christians in America are not often passionate about God and their walk with Him.
III. A Friend Worth Following Is Godly
III. A Friend Worth Following Is Godly
King Ahaziah was a king of Israel, son of King Ahab and Queen Jezebel, and despite how God had made an example out of them, Ahaziah refused to follow God. He worshipped the same false gods that his parents had worshipped, and was an evil king in the fact that he led Israel as a nation back to the worship of false Gods, just like his parents had.
There comes a time in Ahaziah’s reign that he suffers a terrible fall and becomes very ill because of his injury. So Ahaziah, king of Israel, part of God’s chosen people, sends messengers to neighboring country of Ekron to inquire of their false god - Baalzebub - whether he is going to make a recovery and live or not.
Instead of finding the man of God, the prophet of God - Elijah - Ahaziah asks of false gods what his fate will be. So God appears to Elijah and says, “Go stop those messengers before they get to Ekron and tell them to turn around and go back to Ahaziah with a message, not from Baalzebub, but from the God of Israel. The message is this: Is there not a God in Israel you could have asked about your health? But since you sought out Baalzebub, a false god, you will never get up off that bed, and there you will die.”
Well, of course Ahaziah was not happy about that! He sent companies of soldiers to go fetch Elijah in a disrespectful manner. Let’s read about the first interaction with one of these companies of soldiers in 2 Kings 1:9-10.
9 Then the king sent unto him [Elijah] a captain of fifty with his fifty. And he went up to him: and, behold, he sat on the top of an hill. And he spake unto him, Thou man of God, the king hath said, Come down.
10 And Elijah answered and said to the captain of fifty, If I be a man of God, then let fire come down from heaven, and consume thee and thy fifty. And there came down fire from heaven, and consumed him and his fifty.
Notice that phrase with which Elijah is addressed: man of God. In 1st and 2nd Kings, Elijah is referred to as “man of God,” “prophet of God,” and “servant of God” 9 times. This time here it was as an insult or done in a sarcastic manner, but Elisha knew the truth - that his mentor, Elijah, was indeed a man of God. Elijah was Godly.
Why, in his final day, was Elisha not afraid to go with Elijah until the very end? Because Elisha knew that wherever Elijah was, God was there. Elijah was godly, he was a dedicated servant of God.
Parents, let me ask you - does your family know that where you lead in a godly direction?
Teens and kids, let me ask you - do your friends at school know that God is with you, and that what you do is godly, and that what you have to say is godly?
Christians do your coworkers know that where you are, God is there? Are you Godly at work, at home, in school?
IV. A Friend Worth Following Is a Blessing to Those around Him
IV. A Friend Worth Following Is a Blessing to Those around Him
Elijah was a blessing to Elisha all the way up until the point that Elijah was caught up into heaven, and especially in that moment.
9 And it came to pass, when they were gone over, that Elijah said unto Elisha, Ask what I shall do for thee, before I be taken away from thee. And Elisha said, I pray thee, let a double portion of thy spirit be upon me.
10 And he said, Thou hast asked a hard thing: nevertheless, if thou see me when I am taken from thee, it shall be so unto thee; but if not, it shall not be so.
11 And it came to pass, as they still went on, and talked, that, behold, there appeared a chariot of fire, and horses of fire, and parted them both asunder; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven.
12 And Elisha saw it, and he cried, My father, my father, the chariot of Israel, and the horsemen thereof. And he saw him no more: and he took hold of his own clothes, and rent them in two pieces.
13 He took up also the mantle of Elijah that fell from him, and went back, and stood by the bank of Jordan;
14 And he took the mantle of Elijah that fell from him, and smote the waters, and said, Where is the Lord God of Elijah? and when he also had smitten the waters, they parted hither and thither: and Elisha went over.
From that point on, Elisha started on his ministry journey as the appointed prophet of Israel. A powerful ministry that started because he had a friend who had been a continual blessing to him as he followed.
We have discussed already in Matthew chapter 5 that we are to be salt and light to the world. Matthew 5:13
13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
Salt serves a lot of purpose, but one of the most common purposes is to flavor food. Do you and I add good flavor to the lives of those around us? Are we being salt by our words and by our actions. Is our life a blessing to others.
We all know those people who have a negative outlook on everything, and after being around them, they kind of put a damper on life. But a friend worth following is one who adds flavor to life, who is a blessing in what they say and what they do to those around them.
Conclusion
Conclusion
Do you want to be a friend worth following?
Be wise and passionately follow God as you seek His kingdom.
Develop a deep intimate relationship with the Lord and you will automatically be salt and light to the world around you.
Maybe many will begin following you, maybe not. This isn’t Instagram where the goal is to have as many followers as possible. No, the goal you are after is, whether you have many friends or few friends, that you are a friend worth following. That at the end of your life, those in your circles will be able to confidently say, “He/she was a friend worth following because they were wise, passionate about God, and a blessing to others. There is eternal value added to my life because of them.”
I’d like to add just a little something here. Ultimately, our best example of a friend is Jesus. Jesus is worth following. Not only is He worth following, but He calls us to follow Him and be His disciples.
Today, if you are without Jesus, He desires to be your friend. The first verse that we read today tells us that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Jesus is that kind of a friend. He died for your sins so that you could be adopted by God into His family. He calls His followers friends, brothers, and joint-heirs with Him. If you have never put your faith in Jesus for the forgiveness of sins, today you can know Him as your savior and friend.
Invitation
Invitation
Home Groups
Home Groups
How can the 9-5 mentality affect a Christian's relationship with others in the church?
How would you describe a lifestyle compared to a job?
K- How can you show that you are a good friend to others?
Why is it important for Christians to pursue deep friendships within their community?
What does Proverbs 18:24 imply about the nature of friendship?
K- Can you think of a time when you had to be courageous like Elisha in your friendships?
What qualities demonstrated by Elijah make him a friend worth following?
How can a person's passion for God influence their friendships and family?
How can we apply the teachings about friendship in this sermon to our own lives?
K- How can you be a blessing to your friends at school or church?
What practical steps can you take to pursue deep friendships within your communities (school, work, church)?
How can you encourage your friends to seek the Kingdom of God in their own lives?
