The Encouraging Friend
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
We are in our series On Friendship this morning as we take a little break from the Sermon on the Mount study, and we will remember, hopefully, that last week we began this series by looking at the characteristics of a friend worth following.
We saw that a friend worth following is wise, godly, is a blessing to his friends, and follows God passionately.
I hope you also remember that though everything that we are seeing over the course of this series can be used to evaluate our friends, the purpose of this series is to evaluate ourselves and the quality of friendship that we offer our friends.
Before we get into our topic for this morning, I’ll start off by sharing a little bit of Latin humor. By that, I mean, different regions in the world have different styles of humor. Here in the states we are familiar with the blonde jokes or the redneck jokes. Well, in Latin culture, they do not make blonde jokes or redneck jokes. They do, however, make a lot of jokes about mother-in-laws. So keep that in mind as we progress through this joke.
Another thing that I would like to say before telling this joke is that I love my mother-in-law, but this is a funny joke and I wanted to share it with you!
So there are three friends, and they all had a paralyzing fear of death. So one day, as they were sitting around talking, they agreed that they should all go and see a psychiatrist and start trying to work through this intense fear that they all had.
Since these were all very good friends and since they had the same issue, the psychiatrist decided to see them all at the same time for group therapy sessions. During one of these sessions, the psychiatrist told the three friends this:
P - “I want you to imagine that you only have four weeks left to live. Let that thought sink into your mind and then begin to think about all the things that you would want to do during those last four weeks of your life.”
One by one, he began to ask the friends what they would do with their last four weeks of life.
Friend 1: “Well, I think I would go to the beach. I’d relax, take in the sun, learn how to surf, and spend those last days in a beautiful environment.
Friend 2: “I would sell everything I had and go to Vegas. I’d gamble my weeks away and live in the thrill of the unknown. It wouldn’t matter if I lost everything, I’m going to die anyway! My last 4 weeks would be fun!”
Friend 3, who happened to be the only married one of the friends, thought about it for a moment and said, “I think I would have my mother-in-law move in with my family and me.
The other two friends looked at their buddy, and one said, “You’d have your mother-in-law move in with you? But you hate your mother in law!”
But the psychiatrist quickly interrupted and said, “No, this is a very noble gesture that I often encounter when doing this exercise with patients. He is making his last four weeks really mean something. He is trying to have an impact on someone that will last long after he is gone from this world. Isn’t that right?” he asked the third friend.
Friend 3: “Oh, absolutely not! I just want to extend my days. See, I know that if I spend my last four weeks of life with my mother-in-law, those will be the longest weeks of my life! It’s going to feel like months, and when death finally comes, I’ll be ready for it!”
Like I said, earlier, I love my mother-in-law and the views expressed in this joke are not my own; I shared it purely for its comedic value, and also to share a little bit of the cultural difference that I grew up in.
Anyway, let’s get into our sermon today. This morning I would like to talk about the encouraging friend.
The Encouraging Friend
The Encouraging Friend
Before we start, let’s go ahead and read our theme verse for the series. It is found in Proverbs 18:24.
24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
I’d like to remind us that if we expect to have friends and keep them, we must show friendship to them.
Our main text today as we look at an example of the encouraging friend, will be in the book of Acts 11:19-24
19 Now they which were scattered abroad upon the persecution that arose about Stephen travelled as far as Phenice, and Cyprus, and Antioch, preaching the word to none but unto the Jews only.
20 And some of them were men of Cyprus and Cyrene, which, when they were come to Antioch, spake unto the Grecians, preaching the Lord Jesus.
21 And the hand of the Lord was with them: and a great number believed, and turned unto the Lord.
22 Then tidings of these things came unto the ears of the church which was in Jerusalem: and they sent forth Barnabas, that he should go as far as Antioch.
23 Who, when he came, and had seen the grace of God, was glad, and exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord.
24 For he was a good man, and full of the Holy Ghost and of faith: and much people was added unto the Lord.
Today we are going to talk about Barnabas. Who was Barnabas?
Well, before we take a look at who he was, I want us to notice his name and the meaning his name carries. Barnabas is just a nickname, and we’ll see who gave him that nickname in a little while.
Barnabas = The son of Consolation/exhortation/encouragement.
So he was nicknamed The Son of Consolation or Exhortation. The Son of Encouragement.
We see here in verse 24 a description of Barnabas’ character. He was a good man. Full of the Holy Spirit - this means that he was controlled by the Spirit; he was surrendered to do God’s will (something that we saw is a good quality to have as a friend). And he was full of faith - Barnabas was a man that was totally reliant on God.
Barnabas was an encouraging friend. And we can all learn from how Barnabas conducted himself toward others and toward the ministry and learn how to be encouragers like Barnabas was.
On Wednesday nights we are studying about the gifts of the Spirit, and we learned two sessions ago that one of those gifts is the gift of exhortation or the gift of encouragement. You might be here thinking, well, I do not need to be an encouraging friend because the gift of encouragement or exhortation is not one of my spiritual gifts, and if you are thinking that, you would be wrong.
We all should be encouragers. The only difference between those that have the spiritual gift of encouragement and those that do not, is that those of us that do not have the gift of encouragement need to be more intentional about our encouragement and consolation toward others.
So let’s look at the different ways that Barnabas was en encouraging friend.
Encourage by Giving
Encourage by Giving
Just last Wednesday, we looked at another one of the spiritual gifts, the gift of giving. Again, if that is not your gift, that does not mean you should not give to others or to the work of the church, it just means you have to be more intentional about it.
But Barnabas was an encouragement to others by his giving. Look at Acts 4:36-37
36 And Joses, who by the apostles was surnamed Barnabas, (which is, being interpreted, The son of consolation,) a Levite, and of the country of Cyprus,
37 Having land, sold it, and brought the money, and laid it at the apostles’ feet.
He does this to be a blessing to the ministry and to others in the church who needed it.
How many of you can raise your hand with me saying, “someone at sometime in my life was a blessing because they provided for a financial need or they gave my family groceries when we needed it,” or something like that?
Maybe it wasn’t money or even anything material that you were given, maybe you were given words of encouragement or a passage of scripture, or maybe you were simply prayed over by someone and that gave you a spiritual and emotional blessing. Is there anyone here that would say, “Yeah, there was a time when I just needed an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to care enough to just pray for me and God brought someone that did just that”?
Well, if you have ever received anything like that and were blessed by it, you need to be a channel through which those kinds of blessings would flow out to others.
8 Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.
When Jesus is sending out His disciples to preach and do miracles, he gives them this instruction: freely you have received from me the Gospel, freely give to others. Let it flow through you to be a blessing to others.
You can be an encouragement to others when you give your time
Give Your Time
Give Your Time
When you give your time to serve others, believe it, they will be encouraged. I was happy to see that a couple of Saturdays ago, there were a few men from the church that helped Dan and Katherine move from their apartment to their house. I was encouraged by seeing them give their time, but I am sure that Dan and Katherine were very encouraged by it.
If you want to analyze how encouraging you are as a friend, start by analyzing the time that you give to others.
Give Your Talents and Abilities
Give Your Talents and Abilities
Encourage others with your talents. Use what God has given you to serve others, whether that be musical talent, whether it be your spiritual giftings, or an ability to fix things, etc.
You might be sitting there thinking that God has not given you any kind of ability, but I assure you that that is not true.
Give Your Words
Give Your Words
If you have a voice, you can use it to say encouraging things to others. The problem is, too many of us think that the church is here to serve us, and we sit and wait for someone to come and say things to us. What’s worse is that we get mad when nobody does say anything to us. But instead of waiting in the corner to be approached, why don’t you approach someone and try to be an encouragement to them.
Do you have a cell phone? Send an encouraging message to someone this week. Ask them what you can be praying for and then pray for that.
When was the last time you helped someone in the church with something? Whether that was cleaning their house, making dinner, shoveling snow...
When was the last time you helped with cleaning up after an event here at the church? I’ll go a step further, when was the last time that you saw teens help with tables and chairs and told them, “Thank you for helping out, that a blessing!”
Adults, when was the last time you told a teen, I have been praying for you.
Teens, when was the last time you intentionally prayed for one of the adults here at church? Those that work with the kids on Sunday mornings and help teach or do the music, do you know how encouraging it would be for those children to know that you pray for them and care about them and talk to them after and before the services?!
You could be such an encouragement to our church, we all could be if we would just think about others first. Too often, we get caught up in the worldly way of thinking that says, “Nobody has been an encouragement to me, I am not going to try to be an encouragement to them.” But if you want to be encouraged by others, give that encouragement first. Luke 6:38
38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
Build people up with your words. Barnabas also did this. Acts 9:26-27
26 And when Saul was come to Jerusalem, he assayed to join himself to the disciples: but they were all afraid of him, and believed not that he was a disciple.
27 But Barnabas took him, and brought him to the apostles, and declared unto them how he had seen the Lord in the way, and that he had spoken to him, and how he had preached boldly at Damascus in the name of Jesus.
Barnabas was able to be an encouragement to a new believer. See, when Saul, also known as Paul later on, arrived in Jerusalem after his conversion, he wanted to join with the disciples. But none of the disciples believed Saul had actually converted to Christianity. He had persecuted the church, and had imprisoned many of the members there in Jerusalem. In fact, he had given his consent in the stoning of Steven. So everyone was afraid that Saul was just using another tactic to gain information about the believers there in Jerusalem probably.
But Barnabas went to the disciples and gave testimony to them about how God had changed Saul, and told them about how Saul had preached boldly in Damascus, the place that he originally intended to look for Christians and imprison them. And it was because of Barnabas, that both Saul and the churches of the regions surrounding Jerusalem found some comfort and peace.
We know Saul more commonly as the apostle Paul, but can you imagine what it would have been like had Barnabas not been there to convince the church that Paul truly had been converted to Jesus? It’s a crazy thought!
What kind of changes would we see in our church if we were to speak kindly, not just too others, but about others. It’s easy enough to say nice things to other people when they are in your presence, but what about when they aren’t there? Do we engage in gossip, in criticism? We shouldn’t. We should be building people up in the eyes of others.
While we are on the topic of giving our words, we should share words of joy. The Bible tells us that we should rejoice with those that are happy. Romans 12:15
15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
Look at how Barnabas celebrated a certain group of Christians in Acts 11:23
23 Who, when he came, and had seen the grace of God, was glad, and exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord.
The church at Jerusalem had received reports that there were Greek believers as far away as Antioch, the capital of Syria, so they sent Barnabas to check it out. Sure enough, when Barnabas gets there, he sees the grace of God working among the believers there and he rejoiced with them and encouraged them to continue following God.
Now, there would have been some Jewish believers that would have treated the Christians at Antioch as second rate Christians because they were not Jewish, hey were Greek, but not Barnabas. He celebrated with them that they had been rescued from their sins and was an encouragement to this young church.
Something significant happens a little later there in Antioch, these believers got the name of Christians. This is the first time that they were referred to as Christians. It was probably a term meant to mock them, but it is a term that perfectly describes what our goal is - Christian means follower of Christ.
Had Barnabas not gone there and encouraged them and celebrated them, would that have even happened? Who knows.
We should celebrate every person that walks through these doors. We should celebrate those that get saved, those that get baptized, people that are added to the church, members that serve in ministry. We should be celebrating all the time. Parents, when was the last time you celebrated the nursery worker that watched your child during the service?
When others take opportunities to serve, do you celebrate them or do you get jealous of them? When a coworker gets a promotion that you wish you had gotten, are you a good enough friend to celebrate them or do you pout and get jealous?
When your neighbor gets a new truck, do you celebrate or say, “Well that must be nice for them...”
Parents, when your kids get a 95 on their test, do you celebrate it, or do you say something like, “Well, it’s not quite a 100, is it?”
Are your words words of celebration and encouragement?
Give Your Money
Give Your Money
This is exactly what Barnabas did. He sold his property and gave the proceeds to the disciples so that they could distribute it to those in the church that needed it.
We have a food pantry you can give to. Every month, we provide a meal for the men going through the program at Hope CDA during one of their Tuesday Nights of Encouragement.
We are having wedding and baby showers out the nose right now, give to them. When the babies are born, find a way to be a blessing to those families in the first few days of this gigantic transition they will be going through.
Look, nobody is asking you to sell your house and bring the money to the church, unless that is what God is telling you to do… But seriously, if you have the ability to do so, give materially to be an encouragement to someone that would need it.
Give Your Help
Give Your Help
Barnabas stayed at the church in Antioch for a year and brought Saul along with him. There, they worked together for a whole year to be an encouragement to that church. They didn’t just bring words of advice and encouragement, they actually worked in the church.
There are some people that have plenty of advice. They say things like, “Pastor Mike, we should start this ministry.” Or, “This ministry over here really could use some people in it.” And they give a lot of ideas, but don’t want to actually help out… I am thankful for Jeff and Cheyenne. I am going to celebrate them for a second here, and if you are a young adult, you should celebrate them too.
Jeff came to me about August or September and said, “We really need a young adults/college and career ministry.” And I agreed wholeheartedly. But Jeff didn’t stop at words, he also said, “Cheyenne and I would like to do something with them.” And even before I could come up with ideas of what to do, he started inviting young adults to his house and to play pickle ball and bowling and next month they are going to annihilate the teens in laser tag. But he and Cheyenne have taken that completely upon themselves.
I hope that it is an encouragement to you young adults, because it certainly is an encouragement to me to see that. Thank you Jeff and Cheyenne.
Give Your Compassion
Give Your Compassion
There are different ways we can give compassion to others. I’ll show you how Barnabas was compassionate to a fellow believer.
Acts 15:36-40
36 And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do.
37 And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark.
38 But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work.
39 And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;
40 And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God.
Before this journey, Barnabas, Paul, and John Mark had gone out on a missionary journey together, but sometime into that journey, John Mark left the group and returned home. When it came time to go on a second missionary journey, Barnabas said, “Hey Paul, we should take John Mark with us again.” Paul was not liking this idea at all, and we just read that the disagreement between them was so sharp that Barnabas took Mark by himself on a missions trip and Paul took Silas in a different direction.
What was the result of this? Well, it seems that during this time, Barnabas the encourager has plenty of time to disciple and encourage John Mark who at one time had not been mature enough in the faith to be faithful to the work of God. It is this same John Mark that writes the Gospel according to Mark!
Barnabas showed compassion on someone who had failed before. Barnabas gave Mark a second chance, and it is from the hand of Mark that we have the first of the four Gospels written.
Not only that, but because of Barnabas, Paul is able to see that Mark has indeed matured and grown and in fact is useful for the ministry. 2 Timothy 4:11
11 Only Luke is with me. Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is profitable to me for the ministry.
Barnabas took a fallen brother in Christ, picked him up, dusted him off, and discipled him to follow Jesus and Mark became profitable for the ministry.
I believe that one of the reasons the world looks with such hatred upon Christians is because we lack true compassion. We are quick to jump on someone when they fail and when they fall instead of being like Barnabas, lifting each other up and giving each other second chances.
Invitation
Invitation
How can we be good friends? By being encouraging. How can we be encouraging? By giving. Giving our Time, Talents, Abilities, Words, Money, Help, and Compassion.
Is there one of these 6 things that God has pointed out to you this morning? Would you resolve this week to be an encouraging friend?
I know God has spoken to my heart about this issue of encouragement. Has God spoken to you?
If you are not saved, I would like to encourage you today. I would like to encourage you to turn to Jesus for the forgiveness of sins.
The reality - sin separates you from God. It makes your destiny a place of torments called the lake of fire. But God loves you very much. Your sin could only be paid for by perfect, sinless blood, and nobody has that- we are all sinners.
So God sent His perfect Son, Jesus, to die and shed His perfect blood for you. He didn’t deserve to die, but he did willingly. He paid for your sins on a cross and was buried. But three days later, He rose again.
Now He offers forgiveness of sins and eternal life with Him in heaven for anyone that will believe in Him and ask Jesus to save them.
If you are here and are not sure about your salvation and forgiveness of sins, I would love to pray for you.
Home Groups
Home Groups
What, if anything stood out to you from the sermon?
1. How can we actively show encouragement to those around us by emulating Barnabas?
2. K - How can we show encouragement to our friends at school?
3. Reflecting on your personal experiences, when was a time someone’s encouragement made a significant impact on your life?
4. How can you celebrate your friends' successes instead of feeling jealous?
5. How can we identify and use our own unique talents to encourage others, as Barnabas did?
6. K - Can you think of a time when you felt encouraged? What happened?
7. How can you intentionally reach out to encourage someone this week?
8. K - What is something nice you can say to a friend to lift their spirits?
