The Sacrificing Friend
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
Over the last two weeks we have been studying friendship, more specifically, we have been discussing what it looks for us to be good friends to others.
The first week, we looked at different qualities that would make us be friends worth following just like Elisha followed Elijah. Last week, we studied the person of Barnabas as we looked at how we could give so many different things to be an encouraging friend - things like time, talents and abilities, words of celebration and love and encouragement, material things, help, and compassion. We noted in this study that Barnabas made a lasting impact on Christianity because of His encouragement to individuals like Paul, Mark, and the Grecian believers of the city of Antioch. We can be a lasting impact on those around us, even having a generations long impact, if we truly seek to be an encouragement to other believers.
This week I want to look at another set of friends as we study the topic of
The Sacrificing Friend
The Sacrificing Friend
The friendship that we will look at today is probably the most famous pair of friends that you can find in the Bible, the friendship of David and Jonathan.
It is a rare thing when good, solid, biblical friendship is discussed that David and Jonathan’s friendship does not come up, and today, we will look at how that friendship began.
Before we get into that, however, let’s look at our verse for this series that we find in Proverbs 18:24.
24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Remember, this series is not about evaluating our friends, but it is about the self-evaluation of our friendship toward others.
Today we want to look at sacrificial friendship. The friendship that Jonathan showed David is probably one of the best Biblical examples of sacrificial friendship that we can find in the Bible. So, let’s look at our passage today that we find in 1 Samuel 18:1-4 so that we can see how this friendship got its beginning.
Before we read, let me give a little bit of context for what is going on. The army of the nation of Israel, under the leadership of its first king, King Saul, has gone out to meet the Philistines for battle in a place called the Valley of Elah. At this point in Saul’s reign, God has already forsaken and rejected him as king. God has already commanded Samuel, the prophet of the nation, to go and anoint a young shepherd from the tribe of Judah as the next king of Israel. This young man is David. David is observed by Saul’s servants as being a good person and skilled at playing the harp, and when God sends an evil spirit to trouble Saul, David was brought in to play the harp for the king. Whenever David played, Saul’s spirit would be quieted. David earned Saul’s trust and became one of his armor bearers. Fast forward a little while, and we find ourselves in the valley of Elah where the Philistines have amassed and army to fight the Israelites. Even though we often think of David as a young boy, we do know that he is old enough to be in the army, but David, for whatever reason does not get called to go to battle at this time, but three of his seven brothers had been called up.
Over on the hills of one side of the valley are the armies of the Israelites, while on the other side of the valley, the Philistines stood ready to fight. However, instead of this epic battle that you would expect to have between these two armies, the Philistines send out a champion to challenge someone from Israel to fight him one on one. This man’s name is Goliath. Goliath is a combat veteran and has the best equipment that the Philistines can provide for him. He is strong, loud, and proud. He is also about 9 1/2 feet tall. This man is a veritable giant. King Saul, whom the Bible tells us stood head and shoulders taller than the average the Israelite, is believed to have been about 6.5 feet tall. Goliath was a whole three feet taller than him!
So Goliath goes out and challenges the Israelites to send one man to meet him in the valley and fight. Whoever wins, wins a victory for their nation and no battle needs to be fought between the two armies. You would think that within the army of Israel, this nation that had been chosen by God and given many promises and proofs of God’s ability to defend them, you would think that there would be at least one soldier that would be willing to trust God and go out and fight Goliath, but for forty days, Goliath came out twice a day to issue the challenge, and nobody was willing to go fight him. In fact, chapter 17 tells us that whenever Goliath would come out, the soldiers of Israel would all hide for fear.
Well, in those days, there were of course, no cell phones or anything like that so Jesse, David’s father, tells David to go check on his brothers and bring back word of the situation. So David goes to the Valley of Elah, and as he is looking for his brothers, Goliath comes out and issues his challenge.
Long story short, David is surprised that no one is brave enough to go fight Goliath, so he volunteers to go and fight him, confident that God will give him the victory. Saul is convinced, and allows David to go and represent the army of Israel in single combat against Goliath of Gath, the Philistine giant.
David, confident not in his own abilities but in the Lord, loads up a stone into his trusty sling and runs toward Goliath who is laughing at this youth who has no armor and no sword or spear. But when David releases the stone from the sling, it sails and hits Goliath right between the eyes. Goliath falls down dead, and David, who has no sword, pulls Goliath’s sword out of its sheath, and cuts Goliath’s head off. The Philistines are stunned, and began to run way, not honoring their part of the challenge, that the losing side would become slaves to the winners. The Israelite army gives chase and a great victory is won that day.
Saul then calls for David to be brought to him and they have a conversation. This brings us to our passage today in chapter 18.
1 And it came to pass, when he [David] had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.
2 And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father’s house.
3 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.
4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.
Now, before this day, David had been in Saul’s presence, had played the harp for Saul, and had been one of his armor bearers. It is possible that Jonathan, Saul’s oldest son, knew who David was, but it is also very possible that he had not met David or if he had, it seems that they were no more than simple acquaintances.
However, as we read here, after David’s conversation with Saul, Jonathan’s soul is knit to David’s. This is where the friendship starts for these two young men. And I want you to note, before we get into the theme of the sacrificial friend, that this friendship begins with a conversation. Not a conversation between David and Jonathan, but a conversation between David and Saul, Jonathan’s father.
I believe that during this conversation, just like in the conversation that David has with Saul about going out and fighting Goliath, that David’s love for God is evident. Not only that, but David’s humility is evident. Everything that David had said in that conversation glorified God, and though we do not have the details of the last conversation that David had with Saul, I think it is safe to assume that there was nothing different about it.
Good friendships, friendships that honor God, often start with good conversations that honor and glorify God.
Another thing to note is that Jonathan was influenced by this conversation. Jonathan had been a part of an army of cowards. Jonathan, at a previous point, had shown great bravery and trust in God, and I believe he saw those qualities in David. I believe that Jonathan realized that he needed David as a friend.
As a side note, think about this for a second: If others observed your interactions with others in the face of immense stress, would they be able to say, “That is the kind of friend I need!”
Anyway, let’s get into studying what a sacrificial friendship looks like. A mark of a good friendship is the willingness to sacrifice.
As we get ready to go into our first point, I want you to also note that Jonathan, in seeking out this friendship with David, was willing to show himself friendly and did this by giving some valuable things to prove his commitment to David, just like we read in our theme verse, Proverbs 18:24.
Let’s look at our first point this morning.
Sacrificial Friendships Make Godly Pacts
Sacrificial Friendships Make Godly Pacts
Good friends make pacts, make promises. They hold each other to those things which they have commited. This is called accountability. Good friends hold each other accountable.
3 Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.
If you continue to read the book of 1 Samuel, you will see that this covenant, this pact between these two friends was for better or for worse. This covenant of friendship was about encouraging each other in the Lord and helping each other do what was right.
They did what was right by the Lord no matter what. Shortly after these events, Saul becomes very jealous of David and plans to kill him. He meets with his top people and tells them the plan.
1 And Saul spake to Jonathan his son, and to all his servants, that they should kill David.
2 But Jonathan Saul’s son delighted much in David: and Jonathan told David, saying, Saul my father seeketh to kill thee: now therefore, I pray thee, take heed to thyself until the morning, and abide in a secret place, and hide thyself:
What Jonathan did was just treason. He betrayed his father, the king, and completely disobeyed his orders. But it was the right thing to do, for Jonathan was not going to murder someone.
But Jonathan goes a step further. After he tells David to hide out for a while, he goes to speak to his father on David’s behalf.
4 And Jonathan spake good of David unto Saul his father, and said unto him, Let not the king sin against his servant, against David; because he hath not sinned against thee, and because his works have been to thee-ward very good:
He does this and Saul decides to not have David killed after all. Johnathan then takes David and escorts him back into Saul’s presence, and things are as they had been in the past with David in Saul’s good graces.
Does this sound familiar to you? Isn’t this the exact same thing that Barnabas did with Paul? While others disliked and mistrusted Paul, Barnabas vouched for him and brought him into their presence so that they could see for themselves.
Now Saul, being troubled by an evil spirit and having rejected to rule like God wanted him to rule, starts to think evil of David once more. This time, as David is playing the harp once again for Saul, Saul grabs a spear and throws it at David, intending to kill him.
David escapes, and Jonathan once again tries to talk to his father and save his friend’s life.
30 Then Saul’s anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said unto him, Thou son of the perverse rebellious woman, do not I know that thou hast chosen the son of Jesse to thine own confusion, and unto the confusion of thy mother’s nakedness?
31 For as long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die.
32 And Jonathan answered Saul his father, and said unto him, Wherefore shall he be slain? what hath he done?
33 And Saul cast a javelin at him to smite him: whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined of his father to slay David.
Risking his own life now, Jonathan tries to reason with his father, but Saul is angry now at Jonathan. Saul can’t understand how Jonathan can be friends with the man that will be the next king when, in Saul’s eyes, Jonathan should be the next king. Saul has not accepted, and never will, the punishment that God had spoken over him saying that Saul was rejected as king and his descendants would not occupy the throne.
Jonathan had embraced it however, and was happy for his friend. Look at what he does. 1 Samuel 20:42
42 And Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, forasmuch as we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, The Lord be between me and thee, and between my seed and thy seed for ever. And he arose and departed: and Jonathan went into the city.
He goes to find David and tells him to run and hide, but that their covenant remains intact. They will be friends forever, and so will their generations.
So David goes on the run with Saul hot on his heels. Accompanying Saul is Jonathan, and there comes a point where they find out where David is, hidden in a forest. So Jonathan leaves his father and rides into the forest to find David.
16 And Jonathan Saul’s son arose, and went to David into the wood, and strengthened his hand in God.
He goes for the express purpose of being an encouragement to David who has been on the run for a long time now, and notice how he encourages him - he strengthens Davids hand in God. He gives him spiritual encouragement. He is keeping his end of the covenant, a pact that they have both made before the Lord. David and Jonathan know that the best part of their friendship is that they push each other toward God, and in this particular friendship, it seems that Jonathan is the constant encourager because David is constantly on the run, but Jonathan does not complain about this, this is exactly what he signed up for, and he knows that if the tables were turned, David would do the same for him.
Look at how else he encourages his best friend and how they recommit to the pact they have sworn to each other. 1 Samuel 23:17-18
17 And he said unto him, Fear not: for the hand of Saul my father shall not find thee; and thou shalt be king over Israel, and I shall be next unto thee; and that also Saul my father knoweth.
18 And they two made a covenant before the Lord: and David abode in the wood, and Jonathan went to his house.
Far from being jealous or envious, Jonathan has accepted and is content with not being the next king, but commits to being a support to David when David becomes king. And this is the bit of information that makes Saul so angry at Jonathan. Saul sees Jonathan as unambitious, but Jonathan is just content to follow God, even if that means he does not get to be king. Not only that, he celebrates David’s future as king.
But then, the two friends establish their covenant once again before the Lord. As far as we know, this is the last time that David and Jonathan see each other. Within about a year or two, Jonathan dies at the hands of the Philistines in battle and Saul dies that same day.
When David is then anointed as king of Israel, one of the first things he does after setting the kingdom in order is to look for descendants of Jonathan. Now, this was not an uncommon thing for new kings to do if they were not in the family of the previous king. New kings would look for anyone related to the previous king and kill them or imprison them so that they could not rise up and contest the throne. David, however, wanted to keep his pact, his covenant with Jonathan.
In 2 Samuel, we find that there are some men loyal to David who, upon Saul’s death and David’s coronation, go out to find more sons of Saul. They find one named Ishbosheth. They go into Ishbosheth’s house while he is sleeping and kill him while he sleeps. They bring his head to David, and David does not receive them they way they expect. David wants to be a blessing to the rest of the house of Saul that remain, and here his men are killing them. So David has them executed. Years later, in chapter nine we find David seeking someone toward whom he can keep the covenant he had made with Jonathan.
1 And David said, Is there yet any that is left of the house of Saul, that I may shew him kindness for Jonathan’s sake?
They find a man named Ziba who was once a servant of Saul’s. Ziba tells them that there is still one more descendant of Saul’s that can be found. His name is Mephibosheth, and he is a son of none other than Jonathan. Mephibosheth was five years old when Saul and Jonathan had died, and fearing that Saul’s enemies would want to kill him, Mephibosheth’s nurse took him and ran away, but as they were going, Mephibosheth suffered a hard fall that maimed both his feet so that he would never be able to walk again.
Mephibosheth is taken and hidden away for fear that David would want to kill him. But when David finds him, he invites tells Mephibosheth this.
7 And David said unto him, Fear not: for I will surely shew thee kindness for Jonathan thy father’s sake, and will restore thee all the land of Saul thy father; and thou shalt eat bread at my table continually.
David shows kindness to Jonathan’s son and decrees that he will eat at David’s table just like any other of David’s family members. Not only that, but he restores all of Saul’s lands to Mephibosheth so that his descendants can have something good.
The story with Mephibosheth does not end well. Years pass by, and there comes a time when Mephibosheth, despite all the kindness shown to him by David, plans to set himself up as king. David finds out about this and confronts Mephibosheth. With David are men that want to kill Mephibosheth for this, but David had made a covenant before God to Jonathan.
7 But the king spared Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan the son of Saul, because of the Lord’s oath that was between them, between David and Jonathan the son of Saul.
David does take away half of the land from Mephibosheth, but because he still wants to be a friend that keeps his promises, David still has Mephibosheth eat at his table despite all that he has done.
A Sacrificial Friend will make godly pacts and keep them.
Sacrificial Friendships Truly Sacrifice
Sacrificial Friendships Truly Sacrifice
The sacrifices of true friendships are real, they are not just theoretical.
Let’s go back to the beginning of David and Jonathan’s friendship once again. After they made a covenant, a pact with each other, Jonathan does something else. 1 Samuel 18:4
4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.
To seal the covenant that they had made and to show that he was serious about their friendship, Jonathan gave of himself to David for David’s benefit.
Jonathan didn’t just say, “Hey David, let’s be BFFs! If you need anything ever, just give me a call, and I’ll see what I can do.” No, Jonathan showed his love to his new friend right then and there. He gave several things to David, and there is special significance to each thing that Jonathan gives David.
The Robe
The first thing that Jonathan give David is his robe. Why is this significant? Well, think about it… What was Jonathan? He was a prince! He was royalty. What was David? Nothing. He was a shepherd. The lowest of the low. Jonathan was the firstborn of royalty, David was the youngest of 8 brothers. Jonathan has royal robes, the best in the country; David has shepherds clothes.
The moment that Jonathan gives David the royal robes, no one would look at David as a nobody again. Jonathan elevated David. Jonathan here is giving David equal status with himself. It could be that at this moment, Jonathan already recognizes David as the next king, and wants to show him. Jonathan sacrificed and gave of himself to elevate David.
2. Other Garments
Jonathan does not stop there, he gives David some other clothes in addition to his robe. Again, these would be some of the best quality clothes in the nation. Jonathan was willing to give what would have been precious commodities to prove his friendship toward David. Not only this, but now, David has some clothes that go with that royal robe he has. Now, when David visits the palace, he can go well dressed. When he gets to the gates and requests an audience with his friend the prince, the guards will have no reason to suspect that David does not belong, because Jonathan has dressed him in clothing fit for royalty.
3. His Sword
The Philistines were oppressors to the Israelites during this time. One of the ways that the Philistines oppressed the Israelites was by not allowing them to have any kind of blacksmiths among their people. Just a few short chapters before this, we find that the Israelites were fighting with farming implements, and that the only words to be found in all the Israelite army were Saul’s and Jonathan’s swords.
Now, between chapters 14 and 17, the Israelites had won 2 battles, one against the Philistines and one against the Amalekites, so we can safely assume that they have acquired swords and weapons from them, but even so, there would be a relatively small arsenal in Israel, and Jonathan just gives his sword away to David. This would not have been any old captured sword. no, Jonathan probably had the second best sword in all the kingdom behind his father.
With this act of sacrifice, Jonathan shows his trust in David. Part of the responsibilities that Jonathan would have had would have been to lead soldiers into battle, something that Jonathan has done and continues to do well. But in this moment, Jonathan entrusts David with the tool that he normally uses to lead. The Sword of a king or a prince or a military leader was a symbol of their authority.
With this act, it is as if Jonathan is saying, “I am in a position of military leadership, but I trust your abilities exceed my own.” Shortly after this interaction, we can read a passage that many consider to be an indication that David was promoted to be the head of Saul’s body guards.
This thing that Jonathan does with his sword is a n act of humility. It communicates that he is willing to part with very significant things for the sake of this new friendship.
4. His Bow
We see that Jonathan also gave David his bow. The bow was a special weapon and it took a lot of training to master. Not just anyone could pick up a bow and be effective with it. Jonathan had a specialty in his father’s army, and even so, he did not use this to elevate himself. Instead, he gave away his special weapon to his new friend. And now, David had the best of clothing, one of the best swords, and probably the best bow in the nation. This is an act of trust in David’s abilities, and a statement that David would one day be able to master the bow as well as or better than Jonathan. Otherwise, Jonathan could have just grabbed someone else’s bow that fell under him and given it to David. he could have grabbed a spare one from the armory and told David, “Here’s a spare bow that we have. If you ever get as good with this as you are with that sling, I’ll give you a better one.” but he doesn’t say that, he just gives David the best bow they nation has.
5. His Girdle
This was not a girdle like you might think of one today. This was not Jonathan’s own set of Spanx, okay? This was not a tummy control girdle, this was a belt, a big belt. This belt was how you held everything together.
Once David put on the princely garments and the royal robe, how was he to hold it all together? With a piece of rope? No, Jonathan gave him a belt. But this was not just any belt, it was a type of belt that would hold the sword that Jonathan had just given David along with the quiver of arrows he would need for the bow.
This girdle brought all of the ensemble together. In doing this, Jonathan shows that he is is thinking even about the small details.
Each of these items that Jonathan gives was special. By sacrificing of his personal things, Jonathan incorporated David into his world. He dressed him and equipped him in royal fashion, because he loved him as himself.
This is what makes good, Christian friends. This is what makes good, strong, Christian marriages. Personal sacrifice gives the other person the sense that they are important, that they belong. Jonathan did not just treat David right, he set him up to be treated right by others. I should set my friends up so that they are treated well by others to. As a husband, I should set my wife up to be treated well by others.
We can do this by the way we speak of our spouses and our friends. Something that we looked at a little last week, too.
Application
Application
Each one of us need to practice sacrificial love with our friends, with our families, with our church. Watch the way you talk about people. When you talk about them, build them up and dress them in royal robes.
Jonathan sacrificed so many valuable things for David. He could have had his personal tailor make some clothes for David, but he did not. He gave his own away. He could have given David a lesser sword and bow, but he didn’t, he gave his own.
Are you a sacrificing friend? Do you sacrifice your time, your abilities, your words, your wants for that of your friends? For your spouse (who should be your closest friend, by the way...). Are you willing to do these things?
It is easy to become a selfish person. It is easy to have an “I deserve...” mentality. But how many times do we look at others with a sacrificial mentality?
If you and I expect to have friends, we must show ourselves friendly. The level of friendship that I have toward those needs to be the level of friendship we find in Jesus. Jesus loved us sacrificially. You and I should love each other in the same way.
This kind of love is the love that is found in 1 Corinthians 13. It is a sacrificial love. It is not a love that is lost or a love that is happened upon. This love only happens and only exists when we purposefully practice it.
Are you a sacrificial type of friend? Are you a husband that sacrifices? A dad/mom that sacrifices?
Invitation
Invitation
This has been a lesson on one of the ways we can be friendly to others. God desires for us to treat others in a way that is good and godly, but if you are here this morning and do not have a personal relationship with Jesus as your savior, no amount of treating others well or doing good things for others will earn you forgiveness for the sins that you have committed.
There is no amount of good that we can do to erase the sin that we have done. The Bible tells us that each of us are sinners and that the penalty for that sin is death and separation from God for all eternity in a place called the lake of fire. But God desires a relationship with us. His wish is to forgive your sins and to, as the Bible says, cleanse you from all unrighteousness.
To do this, God sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross. God sacrificed for you. Jesus, being God in the flesh, is perfect. He never sinned and never did anything wrong. But He willingly suffered torture and crucifixion and took upon Himself the wrath of God the Father that each of us deserved for our sin. When He died on that cross, He paid for your sin and mine.
Now, He offers salvation for you and me. It is free for us because he paid it all. But the Bible puts two requirements for us to receive that salvation. In reality, they are two sides of the same coin.
The first, is that you must believe in Jesus. Believe He is the Son of God who came and died for your sins, was buried, and then rose again on the third day. You must believe that He is the only one that can save you. Jesus said, “I am the way the truth and the life; no man comes unto the Father but by me.” This belief is something that is more than just acknowledgement. The Bible calls this kind of belief faith. Unlike simply acknowledging something intellectually, faith is belief that has action. The action of having faith in Jesus is to receive Him as savior. The way that is done is by calling out on Him to be saved. So the first thing that is required is to have faith in Jesus and in that faith, call upon Him to save you and forgive you of your sin.
The second thing that is required goes hand in hand with the first. You cannot have the first without this, and this second thing cannot truly happen without having faith in Jesus. This next thing that is required is called repentance. Repentance in the Bible means to change one’s mind. Repenting of sin means to change your mind about sin. We are born with an uncanny ability to justify and excuse any kind of wrong doing, any sin. It may be the thought that despite all of our shortcomings, we are not so bad. But the Bible tells us that all those without Christ are utterly full of sin and are wicked to the core. For me to call on Jesus, I have to first repent of my sin and agree with Jesus that I am a sinner with no excuse or justification. I must agree that Jesus is the only way to heaven, and I must confess my sin to Him.
So to be saved, to have the gift of salvation, you must repent. You must change your mind about Jesus and about sin. True repentance will always be accompanied by action. If you truly change your mind to agree with God about who Jesus is and what sin is, then the action that accompanies that is confessing your sin, believing in Jesus, and calling out for His forgiveness and salvation.
Jesus is the ultimate example of friendship. He sacrificed everything so that you could be saved. Is there anyone here this morning that would like to be saved?
