Words of Life
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Baptism:
6 pm next week
Candidates meet after service
Introduction
Sticks and stones. . .
It’s just not true is it.
Think of something someone has said to you that hurt. Did you shrug it off?
Proverbs 18:20–21 (ESV)
20 From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
As Americans we may claim, “I have a right to say whatever I want!”
As Christians we should feel, “I have a want to say whatever is right!”
A recent University of Arizona study found that those 25 to 64, women spoke 21,845 words a day on average, men spoke 18,570.
How many of those words were words of substance? How many were hurtful? How many were life-giving?
That study only counted the amount of words. Our study will measure the weight of our words.
One commentary has listed 90 Proverbs that give us wisdom about our speech.
In fact, it has been noted,
Proverbs—Wisdom that Works Chapter 15: The Tongue (18:21)
In fact, the book of Proverbs has more to say about our words than anything else it addresses in our lives—more than money, sex, or family.
Proverbs—Wisdom that Works Chapter 15: The Tongue (18:21)
the average American speaks about 700 times per day.5 If that number sounds high to you, cut it in half to 350 times per day. If it still sounds high, cut it in half again to 175 times a day. Still, there are very few things we do 175 times a day. Our many words matter. The Bible says, “Glorify God in your body” (
Your Words Matter
Your Words Matter
Proverbs—Wisdom that Works Chapter 15: The Tongue (18:21)
But we often underestimate the importance of our words. Adultery, for example, is perceived in most Bible-believing churches as a serious sin. And it is. But I have never seen adultery send a whole church into meltdown. Gossip, by contrast, is often perceived as a little sin. But it destroys churches
Because Words Have Power
Because Words Have Power
God said and it was
Jesus sustains by his word
He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,
jesus is called the Word
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.
The picture throughout scripture is that words are powerful
Proverbs 18:21 (ESV)
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
“Power” = yad = “hand”
Not just raw power (there is another word for that) - This describes a willful power
Words have the power to create or kill relationships.
ILLUST - from a recent wedding I officiated: “1. Communicate faithfully
Communication is how a relationship is woven together. When dating, we tend to communicate easily and often, weaving together many different threads that bond a relationship quickly. “
As the opposite, damaging words have led to divorce, or worse, careless words have been the explanation left behind at a suicide.
Words have the power to hurt or to heal.
Words have the power to hurt or to heal.
18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
hurtful words have been the motivation for some to hurt themselves.
ILLUST - my pastoral counseling model - Voice of God counseling method.
Words are powerful both outwardly as well as inwardly.
Words are powerful both outwardly as well as inwardly.
20 From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips. 21
- What we say is internalized
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
14 From the fruit of his mouth a man is satisfied with good, and the work of a man’s hand comes back to him.
*What do you say to yourself?
As the “father of lies,” Satan does not care if you are speaking lies to others or to yourself. He just doesn’t want the truth.
ILLUST - Social media tunes itself to your heart’s desires - so do your words.
*What lies are you telling yourself today?
I’m no good. I’m ugly. I’m stupid.
I deserve to be alone. I deserve to be in pain. I deserve to have these problems.
I’m a terrible Christian - a hypocrite.
These silent words are words of death and are KILLING you!
It is not somehow better to speak unkindly to yourself while speaking kindly to others.
Is this the gospel? Are these gospel words?
The power of spoken words is disproportionate to the amount of words spoken.
The power of spoken words is disproportionate to the amount of words spoken.
In the third chapter of his letter James points out how a huge forest fire begins with small flame.
He says the tongue (or our words) can have a similar effect.
ILLUST - fireworks - small fuse, big boom.
ILLUST - match - I can use it to light a candle, cook food, etc. - for life.
Or, if I were to drop it - it could easily spread and cause death.
This is what James is referring to in James 3 when he says that the tongue is a fire.
*A word of gossip can spread both fast and far.
*A sharp criticism can leave a lasting wound.
*Have you ever experienced this? Ever wish you could inhale the words you’ve already exhaled? (like the new email feature to recall the email?)
ILLUST - my mean words to Kerry.
36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,
careless = “idle”
This doesn’t mean God will point out every time you said something stupid (If this were the case I would probably slow the line). Instead and in context, Jesus is saying the careless things you say point out something about your life - specifically your heart, which holds what you actually believe.
ILLUST - Over the past 48 hours , where would you place the majority of your words on a scale of words of death to words of life? Turn to your spouse, do they agree?
Avoid killer words.
Avoid killer words.
Careless words kill our faith and relationships.
Lying
22 Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.
It is impossible to have a real relationship with a liar.
Truth makes intimacy possible. Lies conceal the real person and make a relationship impossible.
Beware, then not only of speaking lies but of receiving lies:
4 An evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue.
When words are spoken in an empty room, their power ends in that room. When others are there to hear, they are carried wherever the people go.
A word on suspicion:
Don’t do it.
Suspicion is the shadow of lies.
staring at a shadow, you surmise what it could be - you may be wrong!
Don’t attempt to discern the shadow - bring it to the light!
I don’t have hard data to support this, but my experience has shown: more churches (and other groups) are destroyed by the suspicion of controversy than by actual controversy itself.
ILLUST - Brad Rapp - I bet the church board is doing X, Y, Z on purpose. Me: Let’s go find out. Brad: nope.
Gossip:
8 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.
There is a story of a woman in a village who maliciously gossiped about another lady and her family in the village. One day she found out that she was wrong about this lady and her family and had a change of heart. She went to the village’s wise man and asked how she could take back all the wrong she had done. The wise man told her to go home and kill her chickens and pluck there feathers and put them into a bag. After this she was to go back and see the wise man again, but on her way back she was to scatter all the feathers she had plucked from the chickens.
The lady did as she was told. When she got back to the man, he told her, ” now go back and pick up all the feathers that you have scattered. ” The woman was astonished at such a command and said, ” By now the wind has carried the feathers through out the village and beyond.” The wise man then told Her, And so it is with your careless words. They are like the feathers scattered in the wind. You can not retrieve them. ” With that the woman with a broken heart because of the words she had spoken went her way, determined from that day forward to Watch her words.
Words of life can be life-giving.
11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
*Think of when someone spoke the right words to you at just the right time.
Speak words of life into every life.
Speak words of life into every life.
11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
Notice it is the mouth of the righteous that is the fountain of life. Why? because the righteous have life.
34 You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
I’ve never heard a dead person speak!
Truth is communicated through words, but life is spoken by the living.
ILLUST - “Loving you has been the greatest adventure of my life. Every day with you feels like a gift I could never deserve but will always be grateful for.
You are my best friend, my answered prayer, and the one my heart will always belong to.
I love you more deeply, more fiercely, and more joyfully than I ever knew was possible — and somehow, I find myself falling for you even more with every passing day.”
— Sincerely, Chat GPT
AI may be able to speak truth to my wife but only I can speak life to her.
Why? Speaking life requires relationship.
*Who are the people in your circles? Who listens to you when you speak?
You speak life FROM life
You speak life FROM life
You speak life TO life (in relationship)
You speak life TO life (in relationship)
*How does the gospel apply to this person and situation, and how can I share the goodness of it with this person?
Speak truth always.
Speak truth always.
22 Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.
Speak only what you know to be true.
Lies never last.
*Do you lie?
*Do you withhold the truth?
Speak the gospel often.
Speak the gospel often.
Notice I said “speak” and not share.
We should share the gospel often, but we should also know how the gospel applies to our lives and how we can apply it to others’
Examples:
— Coworker comes to you asking advice on if she should hide some facts on the report to make sure you can secure the big client. (See point above)
— Friend comes to you for relationship advice. They are frustrated with their marriage and want to know if you think they should get divorced?
— Your child fails your expectations yet again, and your irritated, but you’ve just finished your prayer time which included confession.
Our children know the Bible teaches a God of grace, but is the tone of our speech gracious?
Our coworkers know God desires truth, but do we join in the gossip?
Is our friend coming to us about their frustrations with their spouse because they have heard us talk about the frustrations of our spouse?
This doesn’t mean we hold unbelievers to the standard of believers — that’s legalism.
It means we share the gospel truth applied to their situation — that’s life giving.
People will not listen to us share the gospel in one situation if we are speaking the gospel into all of our situations.
We have the words of life!!
Learn the gospel
Live the gospel
Speak the gospel
Speak words that build with the tone of grace.
Speak words that build with the tone of grace.
29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
— like an acid, corrupting talk wears down.
— Notice it doesn’t say try to balance your speech.
— Negative speech lasts longer than positive.
Psychologist John Gottman has noted that it takes five positive interactions for every negative interaction for a marriage to be happy.
— What was your last meaningful interaction with your spouse — positive or negative?
— What is the tone with your children — positive or negative? is the ratio 5:1?
— the negative tape in your head? does it sound like your mom or dad? what does this say about how we interact with our children?
— What about what you allow yourself to say to yourself? Don’t allow yourself to speak poorly about one of God’s children (you).
Because how we say something is almost as important as what we say:
Okay?
Okay.
OKAY!
OOOKKKAAYYY.
Speak the truth always.
Speak the gospel often.
Speak words that build with the tone of grace.
Speak words of life into every life.
Because:
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Who are the people who hear you most often?
Who are the people who hear you most often?
— Self
What will you say differently to yourself?
— Spouse
How will you build up your spouse this week?
— Children
How will you speak life to your children?
— Coworkers
How will you express the gospel in the way you talk?
— Friends
— Public (social media)
Do you need to change your tone?
Do you need to speak with more grace?
Hear yourself before others listen to your words?
Will this build up or tear down?
Will this encourage or discourage?
Is what I am about to say is true, kind, helpful?
