The Virtuous Woman
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Proverbs 31:10-31
We’ve been walking through our Family Matters series with one central conviction: strong families don’t just happen—they’re built by intentional, Spirit-filled people who follow God’s blueprint for the home.
The Christian home is not held together by brick and mortar but by faith and faithfulness.
And at the heart of that home, there is often a godly woman—a wife and mother whose influence reaches further than she realizes.
Today, on Mother’s Day, we pause our series not to change the subject but to magnify it.
Proverbs 31:10–31 is the crowning jewel of biblical wisdom about the home.
It’s often seen as a lofty standard, but in truth, it is a song—a poem of praise, not pressure.
This is not a checklist to condemn; it is a celebration of what the grace of God can produce in the life of a woman who fears the Lord.
We need more than homes that look good on the outside—we need homes where Christ is honored on the inside.
And the influence of a Christlike mother or wife may be the single most powerful testimony of faith within the family.
There’s an old story of a mother who came to her pastor and said, “I feel like I don’t have much to offer. I’m not teaching, I’m not singing, and I’m not leading anything.”
The pastor smiled and said, “Sister, you are leading the next generation every single day. God may be using your hands to raise up someone who will one day preach, or sing, or change the world.”
That mother left with tears in her eyes—not because her work had changed, but because her view of it had.
Today, we honor the virtuous woman—not as a rare myth, but as a real model of faithfulness in the home.
Her worth, her work, and her worship are the foundation stones of a strong Christian family.
I. The Priceless Value
I. The Priceless Value
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, So that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil All the days of her life.
Verse 10 opens with a question: “Who can find a virtuous woman?”
That’s not a rhetorical question—it’s a reflective one.
It implies this kind of woman isn’t found on every street corner or featured in every Instagram reel.
A. Her Rarity
A. Her Rarity
She’s rare.
She’s radiant.
And Scripture says she’s worth more than rubies.
You know, in Bible times, rubies were the most valuable stones known to man.
Diamonds hadn’t even entered the scene yet, likely first discovered 6 centuries later.
So when Solomon says she’s worth more than rubies, he’s not speaking in small talk—he’s speaking in awe.
And notice what’s being praised here.
It’s not her charm.
Not her looks.
Not her talent.
It’s her virtue—her character shaped by the fear of God and lived out in love and faithfulness.
Charles Bridges, the old commentator, once wrote:
“The virtuous woman is the life of the family and the light of the home. Her influence is not loud, but it is lasting.”
That’s so true.
A home can have fancy furniture and spotless floors, but if it doesn’t have the heart of a godly woman beating within it, it’s missing something priceless.
Years ago, a missionary came home from the field on furlough.
He was staying with a family in the States—a husband, wife, and their three kids.
Every morning, he noticed the mother getting up before everyone else.
She would be reading her Bible, preparing breakfast, packing lunches, and gently waking the children for school—all with a peaceful spirit.
One evening, after watching her for days, he said,
“Ma’am, you may never step foot on foreign soil, but your kitchen table is a mission field. You are living out the gospel in a way that your children will never forget.”
She smiled and said, “That’s all I ever hoped to do.”
B. Her Reliability
B. Her Reliability
That’s what verse 11 points to:
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”
In other words, she is dependable. She is faithful.
She builds confidence in her home, not chaos.
Her husband knows that when everything else in life is uncertain, her character is not.
And don’t miss the blessing that flows from that.
Because of her, he “shall have no need of spoil”—he isn’t distracted chasing fulfillment elsewhere.
He’s secure.
He’s settled.
He’s supported.
A good woman, a godly wife, gives her husband the courage to face the world and the peace to rest when he comes home.
You see this in Genesis 2:18, when God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
That word “help meet” doesn’t mean servant—it means suitable strength, a companion who completes and complements him.
Proverbs 19:14 says,
14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: And a prudent wife is from the Lord.
In other words, money can be handed down, but a wife like this is a gift from Heaven.
C. Her Resolve
C. Her Resolve
Now verse 12 says, “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
This woman doesn’t just have good days—she lives a good life.
She blesses, supports, encourages, and uplifts—not just when it’s easy or romantic or convenient, but “all the days of her life.”
There’s a quiet consistency to her character.
I think about the testimony of Ruth Bell Graham, wife of evangelist Billy Graham.
When asked what it was like being married to someone constantly on the road, constantly in the public eye, she said,
“I have learned that worship is my response to God for who He is, not what He gives me. So I worship Him in my marriage—even when I am alone.”
She saw her role not as one of fame, but of faithfulness—and it shaped their family for generations.
Let me say this to every woman in the room:
Your value is not defined by your productivity, your appearance, or even your position.
It is defined by your identity in Christ and your walk with God.
This world may not always recognize your worth, but God does.
And so do the people who’ve watched you love, serve, and build your home with prayerful hands and a tender heart.
II. The Productive Work
II. The Productive Work
Proverbs 31:13-27
This portion of Proverbs 31 gives us a full picture of how a godly woman builds her home—not just with words, but with work.
This is not about perfection or pressure—this is about a heart that serves God by serving others.
Her labor may be quiet, but it’s not small.
God sees every effort, and so does her family—even if they don’t always say it.
A. Diligent in the Home
A. Diligent in the Home
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, And worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants’ ships; She bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, And giveth meat to her household, And a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, And strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: Her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, And her hands hold the distaff.
This woman is not lazy.
She’s not careless.
She rises early, prepares food, manages the household, and makes sure her family is cared for.
She doesn’t complain—she works willingly.
That’s the difference.
She’s like Martha in Luke 10—busy in the kitchen—but with Mary’s heart of worship.
Her hands are active because her heart is anchored in God.
One boy was asked at school, “What does your mom do?”
He said, “She’s a chef, a nurse, a counselor, a maid, a teacher, and a superhero.”
When the teacher asked, “Wow—does she have a job outside the home?” he said, “No… she is the job.”
The teacher just smiled.
That’s what Proverbs 31 shows us—a woman whose work at home is holy.
She “layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.”
That means she’s not only willing to work—she knows how to work.
She’s skilled.
She brings stability to her household not just through affection, but through effort.
Ecclesiastes 9:10 reminds us:
10 Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.
And this woman does exactly that—day in and day out.
B. Discerning in Business
B. Discerning in Business
Prov 31.16, 24
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; And delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
This isn’t a reckless spender or someone who just wants to shop all day.
She’s wise.
She weighs her options.
She prays and plans.
She makes linen and sells it—she contributes financially when needed, not out of pride, but out of purpose.
This sounds a lot like the woman described in Titus 2—“keepers at home”—not prisoners of the house, but stewards of the home.
And part of stewardship is knowing how to manage what God has given.
This woman uses her time and resources to multiply blessings for her family.
She sees a need, and instead of waiting for someone else to solve it, she steps in.
In a missionary biography, one wife described how she learned to stretch rice, beans, and potatoes for weeks at a time so her husband could afford to continue in ministry preaching.
She said, “I never felt like I was missing out. I felt like I was partnering in every soul saved.”
That’s Proverbs 31 in action.
C. Devoted to Others
C. Devoted to Others
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; Yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
The godly woman doesn’t live with blinders on.
She sees the needs outside her home and teaches her children to see them too.
Kindness isn’t an afterthought—it’s a core part of her character.
Her household is clothed in scarlet—meaning they’re well cared for.
But so are the poor who cross her path.
Some moms pack extra lunches for kids at school who never have enough.
Others deliver meals to shut-ins, or include neighbors in their prayers at the dinner table.
These women are not just raising children—they’re raising compassionate people.
“We are never more like Christ than when we give to those who cannot repay us.” – Unknown
This woman reflects the heart of Jesus—and she does it with open hands and a willing spirit.
D. Dignified in Character
D. Dignified in Character
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; And she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; And in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, And eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her strength isn’t physical—it’s spiritual.
She’s clothed in dignity because her heart is grounded in the Lord.
She opens her mouth with wisdom—not sarcasm, not slander, not gossip.
She teaches her children the Word—not just with devotions, but with decisions.
Proverbs 14:1 says:
1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: But the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
This woman builds.
She’s not idle.
She doesn’t waste time scrolling through everyone else’s life while neglecting her own.
She “looketh well to the ways of her household.”
She’s alert, attentive, and aware.
A little girl once told her mom, “I think God gave you eyes in the back of your head.”
The mom laughed and asked why.
She said, “Because you always know what I’m doing—even when you’re not looking.”
That’s the kind of attentiveness Proverbs 31 describes—love with eyes wide open.
And notice the end of verse 27: “She eateth not the bread of idleness.”
She doesn’t sit around waiting for others to do what God has called her to do.
She serves—gladly and faithfully—knowing that God sees it all.
The virtuous woman isn’t chasing status.
She’s serving with joy.
She’s not trying to impress strangers—she’s trying to bless her Savior and her family.
And whether she’s at a sink, a desk, or a prayer bench, she’s building a home that honors God.
III. The Praiseworthy Worship
III. The Praiseworthy Worship
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, But thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: But a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; And let her own works praise her in the gates.
After all the work she’s done—rising early, managing her home, showing compassion, living wisely—how is she remembered?
Not by a resume.
Not by awards.
But by worship—and the echo of her life in the hearts of those she loved.
God ends this beautiful poem with what really matters: her influence, her reverence, and her legacy.
A. Commended by Her Family
A. Commended by Her Family
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praiseth her.
There’s something holy about that word “blessed.”
It’s not casual—it’s a testimony.
It means “deeply favored” or “approved by God.”
Her children don’t remember just the chores she did or the lunches she packed.
They remember her prayers.
Her presence.
Her faith.
And notice—the husband praises her too.
Not just for her beauty or cooking or creativity.
He praises her for her character.
Men, let me say this lovingly: don’t wait until Mother’s Day to say what she deserves to hear every day.
Praise her.
Thank her.
Honor her.
Proverbs 18:22 says:
22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favour of the Lord.
Let your wife hear that she’s your blessing, not just on special days, but in everyday ways.
B. Celebrated for Her Fear of the Lord
B. Celebrated for Her Fear of the Lord
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: But a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
We live in a world that worships beauty and charm.
But those things fade.
Wrinkles come.
Strength weakens.
But the woman who fears the Lord only grows more beautiful with time.
This fear isn’t dread—it’s devotion.
It’s reverence.
It’s a woman who wakes up and says, “Lord, lead me. I can’t be the mom, wife, or woman You want me to be without You.”
That’s what makes her beautiful.
Elisabeth Elliot once said, “A woman who fears the Lord knows that obedience is better than brilliance. She may not shine in the world’s eyes—but she glows in God’s.”
The world won’t always see the value of a praying mother.
But God does.
And in the end, His opinion is the one that matters most.
C. Crowned by Her Fruitfulness
C. Crowned by Her Fruitfulness
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; And let her own works praise her in the gates.
This verse is a divine invitation—let her reap the harvest of all she’s sown.
Let her rest.
Let her be honored.
Let her hear the “thank you”s that may have gone unsaid.
You know, the gates were where important decisions were made—where leaders sat.
So this is more than just private praise—it’s public honor.
Her life becomes a testimony others admire and learn from.
In a Mother’s Day sermon D.L. Moody once said, “The world has yet to see what God can do through one woman wholly surrendered to Him.”
Then he added, “My mother showed me what that looked like before I ever knew it had a name.”
Her works speak.
Even after she’s gone, her example lives on.
Maybe some of us here today had a mother or grandmother like that.
She’s with the Lord now—but her prayers, her example, her walk with Christ still echo in your heart.
That’s fruitfulness.
That’s the reward of a life lived for the Lord.
So what is this all about?
It’s not about being a perfect mom.
It’s not about being a flawless wife.
It’s about being a woman who fears the Lord, serves with joy, speaks with kindness, and lives with eternity in view.
That kind of woman makes a house into a home.
She fills it with grace.
She shapes generations.
And her reward? It comes from the Lord Himself.
To the mothers and wives in this room: Your work matters.
Even when it’s unseen, even when it’s tiring—God sees it. Keep going.
You’re planting seeds of grace that will bloom in God’s time.
To the husbands and children: Don’t wait for a holiday to say what she needs to hear.
Speak life into her heart. Give her the praise God says she deserves.
To the young women in this church: This is what you aim for—not just a home that looks good, but a heart that lives good.
Choose the fear of the Lord now—and build your life on that foundation.
Conclusion
Conclusion
Throughout this Family Matters series, we’ve seen that a Christian home doesn’t build itself.
It takes wisdom, love, humility, and commitment.
Brick by brick—heart by heart—God gives us the tools to build something eternal.
And today, we’ve seen one of the clearest pictures of that in the life of a virtuous woman.
She doesn’t just decorate her house—she disciples her home.
She doesn’t chase fame—she shapes faith.
She doesn’t demand recognition—she leaves a legacy.
When God describes the kind of woman who strengthens a family, He doesn’t start with her wardrobe or her Pinterest boards—He starts with her heart.
A heart that fears the Lord.
A heart that loves her family with quiet, steady strength.
A heart that builds something far more lasting than trends or traditions: she builds a home where Christ is seen.
Let me be clear—this passage isn’t here to guilt anyone.
It’s not a ruler to measure yourself by—it’s a reminder of what grace can do in a surrendered life.
To every mother and godly woman here today:
You are not forgotten.
You are not unseen.
You are not insignificant.
You are, in the words of Scripture, “far above rubies.”
Maybe you’re tired.
Maybe your hands are weary from folding laundry, preparing meals, teaching, praying, comforting, serving.
Let me tell you: God sees it.
And He says, “Well done.”
There’s a true story about a woman named Margaret who raised five children in a small farming town.
She never had much by the world’s standards—never published a book, never earned a degree, never stepped on a plane.
But she poured her life into her home—praying over scraped knees, teaching her children Scripture at the kitchen table, and faithfully loving her husband through thick and thin.
In her final days, the family gathered around her hospital bed.
One of her sons, now a pastor, knelt beside her and said, “Mom, you never made headlines. You never got awards. You never traveled the world.”
She looked at him with tired eyes, smiled gently, and said,
“No, but I raised five children who love Jesus and are serving Him—and that was my world.”
She passed away quietly a few hours later.
There was no fanfare, no big crowd.
But I believe—when she stepped into glory—she heard the words that every faithful mother longs to hear:
“Well done, thou good and faithful servant… enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.”
That’s the reward of a woman who fears the Lord.
That’s the kind of life that builds a home worth remembering.
That’s the kind of faith that leaves footprints for generations to follow.
To the men and children here today:
Rise up and bless the women who’ve poured into you.
Don’t wait for a funeral to say what they need to hear while they’re living.
To the women:
Keep going.
Keep planting.
Keep building.
You are doing far more than you know.
The fruit may not always come quickly, but it will come.
And to all of us:
Let’s build homes that reflect the beauty of Proverbs 31—not just on a shelf or on a plaque, but in our hearts.
Because family really does matter.
And when Christ is at the center, the home becomes a place of blessing that reaches far beyond its walls.
