Living Without Regret — 2 Timothy 4:5-8

Cody Hale

To Whom It May Concern • Sermon • Submitted a day ago • Presented 5 days ago

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Introduction

Mom guilt is everywhere. A recent study found that 87% of moms feel guilty—and 1 in 5 feel that way all the time. Another survey showed that 57% of working moms feel guilt every single day. It’s not just a passing feeling—it’s an epidemic.

Why? Because moms live with a fear few talk about: “What if one day my kids regret that I was their mom?” Whether you're working, staying home, or somewhere in between, the pressure is relentless. Social media compares. Culture criticizes. Expectations pile on.

And beneath all the noise is that nagging fear: “Am I enough? Am I doing enough? Will my kids remember a good childhood—or will they remember a mother who let them down?”

God’s Word

Living a life of regret is one of the great fears all of us have — especially moms. But here’s the good news—God’s Word speaks directly to that fear. Today we’re looking at Paul’s last letter—his final words before death—and what’s remarkable is this: he had no regrets. He concludes his life saying: “I have kept the faith,” and I’m looking forward to the “crown.” That’s a life of no regret. And that’s the legacy he wants to pass on to Timothy… and to us. I want us to see this morning “How to Live Without Regret:” (Headline)

Be “sober-minded.”

2 Timothy 4:3–5 “For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.”

Paul understands that Timothy’s ministry will take place in a context where people won’t want sound teaching. They won’t want pastors who preach what the Word says; they’ll want pastors who tell them what they want to hear. Timothy will be surrounded by the immature at best and false believers at worst—even within the church. He’ll be tempted to be swept up by those who dislike his faithful ministry and defer to the less mature or even the lost, to shape his message.

So, when Paul tells Timothy to be “sober-minded,” he’s telling him to not be big-headed or shaky-headed — those lead to regret — but clear-headed and level-head. He’s telling him to not lead out of a desire to be liked or a desire to be vindicated. Ultimately, he’s telling him to not allow immature voices to shape the church or his ministry. Rather, he’s called to be wise, level-headed, and clear-minded—always choosing long-term health over short-term approval.

In other words, Paul says, “Don’t be led by the herd mentality.” The herd mentality is the tendency to fall in line with the crowd—whether it’s what other moms, businessmen, or pastors are doing. It’s assuming that if everyone else is doing it, it must be right, and that leads to emotional thinking over wise thinking.

What happens? Families, churches, and communities are often led by their most immature members, who spook first and stir others up. Then leaders cave under pressure and make decisions they regret. Jesus warns us that the “wide road leads to destruction,” and that’s where the herd is going. It’s the “narrow road leads to life and only a FEW will find it.” That’s why we need “sober-minded leadership.”

You can see this in a parable about a turkey sandwich. A mom blogger posted a simple lunch—a turkey sandwich, fruit, and juice boxes. But the comments exploded. She was criticized for plastic packaging, processed meat, and not being “Pinterest-worthy.” The herd stampeded, and in response, she took the post down and issued an apology—not because her lunch was wrong, but because the pressure of the crowd made her feel it was.

That’s the power of the herd mentality. It can turn something harmless into something shameful, not because it is, but because we let the loudest voices take over. If we aren’t “sober-minded,” we’ll let people who don’t know what’s best or love us or care about us or want good for us shape our families and priorities in ways we later regret. That’s why we need “sober-minded leadership.”

Like that mom blogger, we can be swept up by guilt and pressure—not changing because it’s right, but because it’s popular, even expected. Maybe all the moms in your FB group say your child needs a certain experience, and suddenly you’re scrambling—not out of conviction, but panic or a sense of failure. Or your child’s friend goes to a different church. You love your church, but now you’re tempted to leave just to make your child happy. Then, the friendship fades or relationship breaks up, and you’re left wondering why you caved.

That’s why we need sober-minded shepherds—steady voices in our homes and churches who won’t chase the stampede but will calm it. That’s what Paul calls Timothy to be, and what God calls us to be.

Ask yourself: Are you making decisions out of wisdom or fear of missing out? Out of conviction or comparison? The herd makes things feel urgent but often leaves us full of regret. “Sober-minded” wisdom leads to peace and keeps us steady on the narrow road.

So, if you want to live without regret, you must be sober-minded, and you must…

Endure “suffering.”

2 Timothy 4:5–7 “As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

You’ll notice that each of the four imperatives Paul gives here builds naturally on the next. “Sober-mindedness” accepts the reality of suffering. It’s not sober-minded to believe you can live a faithful life and avoid hardship—especially when you’re following a suffering Savior.

One of the themes of 2 Timothy is to “share in the sufferings for the gospel.” (1:8) Paul is making it clear that one reason he doesn’t regret his life at the end is that fear of hardship never stopped him from following Jesus. He expected suffering as the normal course of life in this broken world, especially for someone following a crucified Savior. So, he says, “I am already being poured out as a drink offering.” That’s a reference to the Old Testament sacrifice where wine was poured out to honor God after blood was shed. Paul’s saying, “Jesus is the sacrifice, and my blood is being poured out as the wine. My life is forever connected with his, and that includes his suffering.” So, he’s suffered. His ultimate suffering still lies ahead. But he’s resolved to endure it.

When he says he’s “fought the fight” and “finished the race,” he’s showing us that endurance through pain is the only way to the finish line. Runners accept pain to reach their goal. So do soldiers. So did Paul.

And Paul wants Timothy to see the danger of building a life around the hope of avoiding pain. That path doesn’t lead to joy—it leads to regret. Just look through the Big Story. Find a single person of God who didn’t suffer. Moses was exiled and slandered. Elijah was exhausted and hated. David ran for his life. Zechariah was stoned by the people he preached to. John the Baptist was beheaded. Jesus was crucified. Paul’s about to be executed. And, none of them regretted their obedience to the Lord.

(verse on screen) So, Timothy must understand what it means to obey God in a world that resists Him—and so should we. This doesn’t mean we go looking for suffering. That would be dysfunctional. It means we resolve to follow Jesus, knowing that doing so invites suffering. In fact, Paul had just told Timothy: 2 Timothy 3:12 “Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” Notice that. “WILL BE.” Not might. Not sometimes. And not just for pastors or missionaries—“ALL who desire to live a godly life.” No exceptions. No escape.

Here’s a hard but honest truth from Scripture: You cannot experience the fullness of what God has for you apart from suffering. Until Jesus returns, following Him means dying daily so we “share in His sufferings.”

Here’s where I feel it most: I want to micromanage my life—and my kids’ lives—so suffering is never on the table. Sometimes I think the Bubble Boy idea makes sense! Especially knowing they’ve got Cody Hale genes in them. I laugh about it, but underneath, it reveals something serious—I try to control outcomes so suffering stays off the table. That mindset leaves no room for God to show up. And, that’s a sure path to regret.

(Upside down crown — embracing suffering feels upside down) So, I’ve committed to praying three prayers over my family. Moms and dads—maybe this Mother’s Day, you’ll write these down and mark this as your starting point. They’re some of the scariest prayers I pray, because I believe God hears them: Lord, we’ll go wherever you send us. We’ll stay wherever you put us. We’ll do whatever you have before us.

And I pray them knowing that might mean fear, danger, or suffering. But I pray them by faith, by faith that what feels and looks upside down now will one day be proven to be right side up —believing that if we’re poured out as a drink offering, we’ll be without regrets.

Are you ready to obey Jesus and follow Jesus with your family knowing that suffering will come? Well, be sober-minded, endure suffering, and…

Do the “work.”

Again, you’ll notice that these imperatives for a life without regret are building upon one another. You’ve got to think clearly. You’ve got to expect suffering. That is, you need a clear mind and a strong faith. And with a clear mind and strong faith, you need to get to work.

Human nature tells us that the good life—the life with no regrets—is one where we’re sitting on a beach, breeze in our hair, drink in our hand, nothing to do but relax. But those moments only satisfy when they follow a season of deep effort and meaningful purpose. The Bible dignifies work. It never diminishes it. So when Paul says he has “no regrets,” it’s not because his life was easy. It’s because it was full of purpose.

Think about the illustrations Paul uses: a “fight,” a “race,” and a life poured out in faith. The word “fought” shares the same root as the word “agony.” He’s pointing to struggle, pain, exhaustion—and ultimately, victory. And doesn’t that sound a lot like the ministry of Jesus?

When Paul says “the time of my departure has come,” that word “departure” carries pictures with it. It was used for untying a boat so it could sail home. It described a soldier pulling up his tent pegs after a long campaign. Paul is saying, “My work is finished. I’ve fought the battle. I’m sailing home.” And then he turns and says to Timothy, “It’s your job now. It’s your battle, your race, your fight. So, do the work!”

(Verse on screen) Specifically, Paul calls it “the work of an evangelist.” He’s not talking about someone with a microphone or a platform. He’s not referring to someone with a special gift. He’s talking about being the kind of person who puts the gospel in front of people as often and as clearly as possible. He’s talking about working at it. Remember what Jesus said: “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.”

So, we’ve got work to do. We have the responsibility to make sure the gospel is going all the places we go. And since it’s Mother’s Day, I can’t help but think about that mother who says, “My goodness, I don’t need another job to do. I’m drowning under the one I have.” Or the dad who thinks, “I already feel like I’m failing at work, failing at home, and failing my friends. Please don’t give me one more thing to fail at.”

Well, I’m not. And Paul isn’t either. He’s not giving you more work. He’s giving your work purpose. “Doing the work of an evangelist” doesn’t mean adding something new to your overflowing to-do list. It means aiming what you already do, where you already are, toward the gospel.

Your kids won’t just “go to heaven.” Your coworkers won’t just “read between the lines” of your kindness. Your neighbors won’t just show up at church and hear your pastor. And, that’s why you’re there. That’s why you have the kids you do and neighbors you and job you do — so that you can do the real work. And once you see that—once you get that you have both responsibility an opportunity—that realization transforms everything.

Suddenly, even the most mundane moment becomes a divine appointment. You’re changing diapers and singing songs and reading books—and in every moment, you’re sowing seeds of the Good News. You’re eating lunch with coworkers—and a turkey sandwich becomes a bridge to talk about Jesus. You go outside to play with your kids—and end up building trust with a neighbor.

You don’t need to add a job. Just aim the ones you already have. And suddenly, even the most ordinary day becomes a day where God might work a miracle. That’s how you go to a job you dread—and come home without regret.

And, all of this — being sober-minded, enduring suffering, doing the work is so that you can…

Fulfill your “ministry.”

2 Timothy 4:5–8 “As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.”

Paul, at the end of his ministry, is concerned now that Timothy “fulfill HIS ministry.” And, this is really the composite of the other three imperatives. If his “sober-minded,” if he “endures suffering,” and if he “does the work,” then he will “fulfill his ministry” and have lived a life without regret. But, it has to be “(TIMOTHY’S) ministry,” not Paul’s or anyone else’s.

(add verse to slide) “Fulfill” carries with it the sense of a container that is to be filled. It’s a beautiful picture of how God has made each of us. We all have different capacities, different gifts, and with those different capacities and different gifts, we have different “ministries.” Paul says the same thing in a different way in Ephesians 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” That is, your “good works,” “your ministry” are “prepared beforehand” by God for you, and you’re created with them in mind. Your “good works” are a gift from God to you that you would do them, enjoy them, and have purpose, not regret.

When Paul says ‘fulfill your ministry,’ he’s not just talking to pastors. He’s talking to every believer. This word for ministry simply means “service”—doing the good works God prepared for you. So, your “ministry” or “service” may be professional ministry or motherhood or serving our teenagers, or a combination. It means whatever “good works” God “prepared beforehand for you.”

You see, our lives are really just a series of divine appointments. That’s how I take the realization that God made me who I am with the capacity I have to do what He intends for me to do. And, that means that Timothy shouldn’t compare himself to Paul, and I shouldn’t compare myself to Andrew, and you shouldn’t compare yourself to the mom that seems like she has everything figured out. We are a “priesthood of believers,” and we all have a ministry.

And, through that lens you can begin to see motherhood as the precious, missional ministry it’s meant to be. And, we could use a thousand other examples like the man who coaches his kids after a long day’s work or the single adult who uses their singleness as an opportunity to give more of themselves away for Jesus. These aren’t lesser ministries, and these aren’t ministries that are meant to be compared with others. These are precious ministries meant to be offered to God and through which He finds joy in YOU. Man, feel that. “Fulfilling YOUR ministry” brings the Father joy in YOU. You trying to live someone else’s ministry doesn’t glorify God. It only says that his plan for your life isn’t good enough. And, that’ll lead to regrets.

There’s only one criteria in which we’re meant to measure our service by and that’s the criteria of the cross. That’s on Paul’s mind. Paul says, “I am already being poured out as a drink offering.” He’s preparing any day that he is going to be declared guilty by the Emperor Nero, when he will be executed. So, he says he’s “finished” the race. And, Paul’s word “finish” is very close to what Jesus says from the cross — “IT IS FINISHED.” So, Paul says, he’s about to be declared guilty, executed, where it will be finished, and then he will open his eyes to a crown that will declare him “righteous.” And, that points us to the cross, doesn’t it? Jesus was condemned by an emperor, poured out as an offering on a cross, declared it finished, and then was crowned with glory. That was the fulfillment of Jesus’ ministry on earth, and for Paul it’s taken the same shape. He’s literally “sharing in the sufferings” of the cross.

And, that’s the only means by which Timothy and moms and dads and singles and seniors should measure their lives. Are you fulfilling your ministry so that you can say, “It is finished” in this life before you open your eyes to hear “Well done” in the next life? Because when that moment takes place, you’ll have no regrets.

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